Now that I am working extra hard at finding STUDs and moving away from the DUDs, I thought it would be fun to take a trip down memory lane and remember some of the DUDs from my past. I’ve given some brief quotes from these fan favorite posts but to read the full post just click their names/titles. With any luck there are more hopeful prospects out there than these.
DUD #5: Measuring Up
“…We arranged to meet. He was over an hour late. … I knew he didn’t leave when he said he was going to and that screamed to me – maintenance. I don’t do metro sexual.”
DUD #4: ADD Not for Me
“…A few minutes into the phone call I noticed something seemed off. … He asked a lot of questions and responded to everything. Some of the responses were just a chill laid back voice, then others were passionately enraged. We would be talking about a basic run-of-the-mill topic and then he would shout out, “Right? F%*& that Zia. Who needs it?” OR “Screw’um. Good for you Zia. F$*# them. F&^#@* bullshit, am I right?
Whoo – okay fella – breathe.
…between the phone call and the first meet I’m pretty sure he forgot my name, until one day when he called, after I told him I’d be working, and conveniently got my voicemail.
…his master plan for a second date was to smoke up.”
DUD #3: Funny Stuff
“For anyone who has ever tried to contact someone via internet dating, standing out from the pack is crucial. However, some of you should recheck your filter…
…my new favorite (email) came in the other day. It’s so horrible that I wouldn’t do it justice to only explain it. I present to you, spelling and punctuation mistakes and all, direct quote:
Subject: Funny Stuff
“so theres this drunk right? now hes wasted by noon and decides hes gotta pee so he whips it out and starts going in the middle of the street now this lady walking by stops stares and starts yelling “what an animal what a beast what a monster” the drunk says “easy lady easy I got a good hold on him” hope that got you to laugh and hope youll give me the chance to laugh alongside you soon”
Oh, I’m laughing, but probably not for the reasons you would like.”
Later, since I responded to Funny Stuff and “tried to explain why it wasn’t the best approach,” he wrote back. And “foreseeing his response, he accused me of having no sense of humor. No, not the case I replied.
Then he decided he wanted to start over. He reintroduced himself. Then I got a joke about a monkey holding a…”
And two of my personal favorites:
DUD #2: From my Wingwoman search – Sammy Boy . He was, “I have to say, quite ballsy to answer a ‘wingwoman’ ad and blatantly ignore the woman part.” His emails were classically entertaining with his verbal diarrhea.
And DUD #1: Mr. Fig Newton
“…The time between our second and third date my phone was flooded with more useless texts and again the word “sexy.” … I don’t know, something about hearing that over and over again from a man who hardly knows you is just creepy and pervy (and not pervy in a good way.)
…I was driving up again. I didn’t mind because I had the day off and he didn’t. … I got to his house – no answer. Here’s a suggestion: a girl is driving over an hour to see you – Be Home!”
If this is your first read of these DUDs, I hope you understand my pain. If you feel my pain, I’m super sorry. And if you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know that these DUDs are just the tip of the iceberg.
I do have some new men in the works and am keeping my fingers crossed. However, if any of you know of any STUDs you’d like to send my way…my email is in the sidebar.