Posts Tagged ‘trophies’

Know Your Ranking

          I feel this needs to be said: Look in the mirror and get a good grasp of what league you’re in!  If you’re surfing and find a profile/picture you like, ask yourself, “do I have a shot?”  If you feel you do, think about it and ask yourself again.

          I can’t tell you how many old grandpas have emailed me.  Newsflash – I have no “daddy issues,” no desire to live the Zeta-Jones/Douglas lifestyle, and some may think you’re more distinguished but all I see are the wrinkles and gray.  There are some men out there who pull off their older age; those are not the people who’ve contacted me.

          Age aside, let’s venture into the Ugly.  People, have you never heard of “on a scale of one to ten?”  Let’s try and be somewhat realistic on the people you contact.

          Now, I’m no 10 but I’m not a 1 either.  I think everyone has a range.  I would place myself at a 6 for everyday and could go up to an 8 with the whole hair, make-up, heels combo, but those are rare occasions.  Like I said before, I don’t like doing all that work.  So, if I’m in that range, it’s perfectly acceptable for me to contact any guy in the 5-8 range.  A 10 would be pushing it, a 9 would require constant hair & make-up on my part, and a 4 or lower would want to show me off like a trophy and I don’t do Hollywood starlet spotlight.  I can sniff out these trophy seekers with their corny attention-getting subject lines like, “Quesadillas are good.”  – Yes, I actually received that.

          My last two contacts should have both read this.  This first one looked like Kenny Rogers and said he was 40.  Buddy, double-check that glasses prescription.  And the second one was a borderline midget with a lazy eye and an oversized nose.  And I’m Italian, so if I think your nose is big…

          Nothing in their profiles lead me to believe they actually thought before contacting me.  If these men actually read my profile they’d see that I workout, am very active, and want someone who can keep up.  Gramps would probably have trouble with stairs and Shorty would have to take 2 steps to my one.  He’d tire out just on a walk from the car to the restaurant door.

          If you’re feeling bold & daring one day and want to take a chance on contacting someone out of your ranking, do it.  Who am I to stop you?  But please read about them first.  They may out rank you but still possibly be in your league.