Archive for February, 2011

The Date That Didn’t…

{ February 25, 2011 @ 1:29 pm } · { The Bad Date Collection }
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…happen.

     Back to my old tricks again juggling a few online guys at a time this past month, one from Match and three from eHarmony.  The first guy from eHarmony disappeared after a few emails back and forth.  The second guy from eHarmony bored me to tears over email, telling me random crap about himself like, “I could eat a whole jar of peanut butter.”  Yup, that was its own paragraph.  We weren’t talking about food or passions or weaknesses, he just threw that information out there.  This now left me with the third guy from eHarmony and the guy from Match.

     The guy from Match is half black and half Italian and claimed in his profile that that was the best of both worlds.  After ogling over his pictures, I wasn’t going to argue with him.  We texted during the week and on Thursday we settled on Saturday morning to meet.  But that was it.  When I didn’t hear from him on Friday evening, I shot him a quick text asking if he still wanted to meet and when.  He text back saying, “Anytime…we can do lunch.”  I replied asking when, where, and all that jazz, hoping to get some details.  Never heard back.

     Saturday morning rolls around, I head out for a run, get home, shower, eat something, and then sit to watch a little TV.  Finally, at 11:58am, I get a text:

Mr. No-Show: Afternoon, great day for a run

Zia’s thoughts: Are you freakin’ kidding me?  I thought you wanted to meet for lunch.  Why the hell are you just texting me now, at noon!?

Zia’s response (at 12:11pm): It was a nice day for a run.

Mr. No-Show (at 12:42pm): Are you familiar with “such’n’such?”

Zia’s thoughts: Dude, it’s been a half an hour, where the hell did you disappear to?

Zia’s response (at 12:47pm): No, I don’t really know that area.

     He sent a few texts in a row to set up a place.  And again, I had to ask what time.  At 1:09pm he tells me…

Mr. No-Show: I was thinking 2.

     I did not see this for a few minutes so he texted again asking if that was okay.

Zia’s thoughts: Are you freakin’ kidding me?  That means I have twenty minutes to make myself presentable for a first meet!  I hope you are not expecting glitz and glam.

Zia’s response: Yeah.

     As I cursed out this unknown man while I put my make-up on in a hurry, I decided he’d get a made up face but jeans and a t-shirt are as fashionable as I was getting.

     I hopped in my car and realized I was going to be about five minutes late.  Sent him a text to tell him.  Five minutes later I get a text.

Mr. No-Show: Runnin late

Zia’s thoughts: MoTheR F*cKeR.  You picked this time and now you can’t even show up for it!?

Zia’s response: About how long?  Ten-fifteen minutes?  If so, I’m gonna run to Barnes & Nobel real quick.

Zia’s thoughts: If he ends up being later, at least I’ll have something to do and it’ll be a good meeting place.

     He tells me fifteen minutes and I tell him to let me know when he parks.

     It was a holiday weekend.  When I left the parking garage, I saw that the restaurant we decided on was packed.  Sent him a text about a different place that was next to B&N.  He said okay.

     About fifteen minutes later, I check out at B&N, walk back to my car, place my bag in the car, and then finally get a call from Mr. No-Show asking where the restaurant is.  Told him where and to let me know when he’s parked.  I walk back to the restaurant and stand out front and patiently wait…and wait…and wait…and then impatiently wait.  I get a phone call saying he doesn’t see the restaurant.  I asked if he was on foot or in his car.  He hesitated, “in my car.”

Zia’s thought: WTF!?  It’s a city strip, everything you need to get to is on foot.  Park! Park! PARK!  Is this your first day off the short bus?

     Again, I told him to find parking and got off the phone.  At this point I was annoyed and irritated.  No condition to meet someone for the first time.  And now I’m getting rained on.  Screw it.  Sent him a text telling him I had to take off.  As I set foot into the parking garage I get a reply.

Mr. No-Show (at 3:28pm): I just parked.

     For anyone doing the math, that was an hour and a half after we were “scheduled” to meet.

     I have said it before and like a broken record I’ll say it again – PLANNING!  Show me you put a little thought into meeting me.  I don’t think I’m asking for much.  I would just like to go out with a guy that is actually interested in meeting me, maybe even a little excited, and actually puts in a little effort into planning the date.  That’s what I get for trying to go on a date with a hot guy.  Why would they put in much effort, they don’t usually have to, right?

     This now leaves me with the third guy from eHarmony.  I’m utilizing their free communication month.  We have progressed to emailing and hopefully will chat this weekend.  However, I have yet to see a picture.  But after this experience, here’s to hoping he is butt-ass ugly.

Valentine Volunteering

{ February 14, 2011 @ 9:03 am } · { Uncategorized }
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     Saturday was the third annual Have a Heart for the Hungry Valentine’s Day Singles event at the LA Regional Foodbank hosted by Match.com.  I had never been before and thought, what a great way to help those in need and get a little weekend flirting in.  So my wingwomen (Miss Independent, Buddha Babe, and Badger Gal) and I signed up and made our appearance.

     When we arrived, we signed in, handed over our paperwork, wrote our name tags, got our group stickers, and a raffle tickets.  If you brought canned goods to donate, you got extra raffle tickets.  Hey, we may have been helping the hungry, but it was still a singles event.  You’re at least able to walk out with some “prize,” whether it be man or material.  After that, we moved onto the waiting area until it was time to begin.  Perfect time to scope out the “scenery.”

     After a quick intro video, we were directed to our stations.  Buddha Babe, Vegetable section, was paired up with an adorable red-head.  May have been a bit young for her but he was fun to watch.  He was very interested in what she was saying, smiled, and chatted her up quite a bit.  Then a girl from the Beef & Chicken station started pulling him away.  She apparently prefered Red to the bald Lip Singer in her own group.  I don’t know why.  When the 80s & 90s music started playing, he knew every word to New Kids on the Block’s Step-byStep.  Sounds like a keeper to me.  Anyway, Beef & Chicken started talking to Red and kept talking…and talking…and talking.  Red did a lot of smiling and nodding then.

     Miss Independent, Fruit section, didn’t have any stunners in her group, which must have gotten her confused because she ended up leaving with a girl’s info.

     Badger Gal and I were in the Milk section and paired up with a couple of French guys.  They claimed to be brothers.  They looked nothing alike.  One was kind of cute, mildly hairy, and was almost completely inaudible.  The other, however much clearer speech, looked like the French Pee-Wee Herman.  They mostly spoke only to each other and in French the whole time.  Think the nature of the event was somewhere lost in translation.

     Since the packaging isn’t that speedy, it is a good set-up to mingle and chat with the others around you.  We had a short break in the middle and to wrap things up they did the raffle.  Buddha Babe and I walked off with a couple of $25 gift cards.  Made up for the lack of “Man-prize.”

     After the event, there was a food truck outside that was giving ten percent of their profits from that afternoon back to the Foodbank.  I think this is where the event dwindled.  Perfect opportunity to sit and chat with the people you met but I think, due to lack of advertising, bad truck placement, and lack of seating, people just left.  And when I say left – they bolted.  We sat around and ate lunch, but when you order your food next to a dumpster…mmm.  Might need to work on that for next time guys.

     Overall it was a great way to spend a Saturday morning.  So thank you LA Regional Foodbank and Match.com.  I think this would be a useful and prosperous event in other cities across America.  And with the cute Valentine’s Day theme, it’s bound to attract attention and develop its own following.  You know, like Easter/Christmas Catholics.

7 Things About Me

{ February 3, 2011 @ 5:03 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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The adorable Erica over at Waste My Time tagged me in what is like a chain letter for bloggers, giving prompt to this week’s post.

Here are the rules:
1. Make a post and link the person who awarded you.
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them they’ve won!

7 Things About Me

1. Way back when, I dated a rocket scientist.  Yes, it is as fun to say as you’ve imagined.
2. Said rocket scientist proclaimed that he believes every person has a super power.  On one date, after getting out of the car in a parking garage a few blocks away from the beach, I said, “It’s low tide.”  He asked how I knew. I said, “the smell.”  Dubbed: Super-sniffer.
3. I don’t like foods that begin with “M.” – No mushrooms, mayo, marshmallows, or anything that may have lived in the Mediterranean.
4. What I’d do for a Klondike bar?  Not much. Ice cream is sacred and deserves more respect than just being cut into a square and then drowned in cheap chocolate.
5. I have a freakishly accurate photographic memory.  Between that and my Super-sniffer, it’s a wonder I’m not the newest side-kick on Psych.
6. Most words people use to describe me start with an “S” or an “S” sound – sarcastic, sardonic, cynical, smartass, sassy, saucy.  Some have said sweet and the African-American male population seems to like sexy.  Somehow sensitive has never popped up though.  Baffling.
7. My kryptonite: Intoxicating scents: fabric softener, food, shampoo, etc.  And forget it if a man has superbly matched a killer cologne that compliments his natural pheromones – I’m a goner.  No telling what I’ll do once I’m on that drug.

Here are my 15 recently discovered (or just some flat-out favorite) bloggers.

1. Manshopper – My sister from another mother.

2. Wandering Menace – Love what she gets herself into.

3. Ken – Fellow perv.

4-6)  The crew at Met Another Frog: Skye, Elizabeth Rose, & Sam Sharpe

7)  The Winker – Zoe Blue

8)  Sarcastic Bride – Takes one smartass to know one.

9)  Date Ritual – Newcomer but earning her stripes

10)  Jen – For your inner tree-hugger.

11) Miss Melissa Mae – Love her humor and delivery.

12) Something She Dated – kindred spirit.

13) Single Steve – Fellow eHarmony veteran

14) The Buzz – Up & coming

15) and Jack – ‘Cause how could you not dig him?