Posts Tagged ‘Plentyoffish’

Not a Fan

     I know, it is absolutely crazy to join an online dating site and expect to actually meet people.  Ludicrous, right?  It is no secret that this blog all started because of online dating and the men I met.  Meeting men online and finding dates is not a problem.  Finding ones I want to keep around…well, that’s a whole different issue.

      Since I have become well versed, so-to-speak, with dating websites, I feel it my duty to report when I find a lousy one.  Sadly, Dr. D steered me wrong on this one.  She gives a list of top recommended dating sites to use, and shouldn’t make the list.  She may have recommended it for its “FREE Duet Compatibility Profile.”  I assure you nothing is free.  Once you fill out all the info to register you need to pay to actually see and do anything that might have been “free.”  There’s no free trail period and I can see why.  The whole sight is a catalogue of out-of-stock products.

     Seeing as I forked over the dough for this broken machine, it seemed right to complain and try to get my money back.  I mean, I’m paying for a service that’s not being provided right?  I emailed a complaint about how I have not had any responses to the ice breakers/emails I sent and that I’m looking for people in my area and have only been contacted by people from across or in another country.  Here’s a look into my relationship with Johnny 5: 

Johnny 5’s response email:  Members utilize their Perfectmatch accounts in a variety of ways – and
some may only ‘check in’ once a week. Others might be busy with work, on vacation, pursuing another relationship on Perfectmatch – or are taking a break. 
…When waiting for responses to your Icebreakers or email, generally, I recommend a 2-week period before moving on to another member, or not pursuing communication further with a non-responsive recipient.  We ask that members who are not going to be utilizing their Perfectmatch account for an extended period of time *hide their profiles* temporarily, …However, members can initiate MAIL and ICEBREAKERS with all other members they may find when using one of our various searches.  Thus it would be completely possible for you to receive matches from various locations.  Have you used our advanced member search capabilities yet?  …Please keep in mind that when utilizing the ‘CUSTOM SEARCH’ tool, you will be able to search for members by more specific factors, such as interests, education, background/values and lifestyle traits – at ranges as close as within 25 miles of your zip code. 

Zia’s thoughts:  Ah, duh, really?  And hell no there is no 25 miles range option – it’s 75!  You’re trying to tell me there is no one compatible in a 75 mile range?  Man, I’m in trouble. 

Zia’s response:  Hi Johnny 5,  Yes, I realize that people have different approaches to using online dating, but I have a hard time believing you guys have created a site where all members check in once in a blue moon, are on a break, or a permanent vacation.  I wouldn’t really recommend using that as a selling point, since I believe most people who try dating online expect at least 1 or 2 results. 

     I am not exaggerating when I say I initiated contact by sending out 40 icebreakers and have gotten NO responses from those.  Am I to believe that ALL of those people forgot to “hide” their profiles?  I have waited 3 weeks, per your 2 week recommendation and still nothing.  I’ve sent emails as well and the only response I received was from a man who didn’t even know he had an account and gave me some email address to contact him because he said he doesn’t use this site. 

Johnny 5’s response email:  Hello Zia, I do see that you have sent out quite a few IceBreakers and have just
received a few responses back. 
…you have had success with email replies. In fact I see several members who seem interested in you. You might try to see if they would like to meet for coffee somewhere so that you can get to know each other. It’s just a thought. 
     Also, our most successful members attribute their success to being very pro-active in reaching out to other members. Since you have had success with email I would suggest sending a quick email demonstrating your interest to any member you find interesting. I see you have not sent email recently, so you might give this a try. 
Zia’s thoughts: Oh dear God, this guy is a drone reading from a script. 

Zia’s response:  In regards to the email replies: one was from a man out of the country, one was from a man across the country, one was from a file you guys pulled for reasons I’m assuming relate to wack-a-doodle status (which I grasped right away from his 20-yr-old pic & 47-yr-old claim, along with creepy wording), another was from the man I said didn’t know he had an account and redirected me to another email, and one was from a man I responded to but never heard back from.  That only leaves mister “potential stalker” status who just keeps emailing me his phone number and “when can we go out” emails without asking anything about me or telling me much about himself.  None of those seem like very possible or safe “meets for coffee.” 

…I’ve used all the search options and changed it up, not being ubber picky, just trying to see if I get some response. I haven’t sent an email in a while because the same people who aren’t responding, are the ones who keep coming up.  …also have issues with your site sending me an email, telling me I have a new one from a member, only to go to my inbox and find nothing there but the old ones. 

     I have been on other dating sites before and have never had this issue.  I know I’m no supermodel, I’m aware of the merchandise I’m pushing.  Since your site wasn’t working for me, I recently tried another.  This week alone I have 3 dates.  No joke.  So can you see or at least understand my frustration with your company. …I feel like I am wasting money.
     Johnny 5, I know you’re just doing your job and giving the responses they are telling you to and I respect that.  I’m just saying I am a very dissatisfied customer and would like a refund.  …in all honesty, your site just really isn’t working for me.  If you need to forward me along to a supervisor or manager that’s fine.

Johnny 5’s response email: …However, members can initiate MAIL and ICEBREAKERS with all other members they may find when using one of our various searches.  Thus it would be completely possible for you to receive matches from various locations.  …Have you used our advanced member search capabilities yet?  …Please keep in mind that when utilizing the ‘CUSTOM SEARCH’ tool, you will be able to search for members by more specific factors, such as interests, education, background/values and lifestyle traits – at ranges as close as within 25 miles of your zip code. 

Zia’s thoughts: Deja vu.  Didn’t I already read all that?  Ugh. 

     I didn’t bother responding again.  Figured I’d take matters into my own hands.  I’ve already wasted my money and don’t want others doing the same.  I am sure you all know someone dating online or thinking about it.  Please urge them not to use  I realize by encouraging people not to join, I lessen my chances of meeting someone on there by no new members joining, but I like to think of it as “taking one for the team.” 

     If you or someone you know is looking for a dating site here are a few successes I know:  Cousin Jo-Jo, recently married, e-harmony.  Best friend from high school, engaged and baby on the way, plentyoffish.  And another friend’s current boyfriend and smooth sailing relationship,  

And just in case you’re not completely sold on my argument, have a look at the most recent “perfect match” for me.  This seem acurate to you?

Keeping Up With the Joneses

           Busy week.  I was amazed at how much free time I had, now that my profile was down.  Opening up my inbox and only seeing the number 3 was shocking, at first, and then refreshing.  As it seems, I was quite popular in the online dating world and didn’t realize how much time I was spending responding to emails.  In the real-life dating world that’s another story.  However, this week I was bizarrely popular.  I had three dates this week with three different men.  But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

           Saturday – date – drinks with tall thin white guy.  Sunday – emails – last minute responses before pulling plentyoffish profile.  Sunday night – text – guy lives four hours away.  Chance of actual meeting, slim to none.  Monday – emails – set date with next guy.  Send phone number to Facebook guy.  Monday night – text – typical how was your day text from four hours away guy.  Truthfully my day kinda sucked, but I just said it wasn’t great.  Asked how his was.  Supposedly his days are all good, claims he’s lucky.  Yes, you are, I responded.  You’re full of shit, I thought.  Got a power-through-the-rough-times and have a can-do attitude response text.  Four hours away guy has now become “The Preacher.”

          Tuesday – texts – to and from The Preacher and Facebook guy.  Tuesday evening – date – tall thin white guy.  Tuesday night – text – Received while at dinner from Paranoid guy who thought I couldn’t take his sarcasm and that’s why he couldn’t see my profile anymore.  Reminded him that I told him I was pulling my profile.  He didn’t think I’d actually do it.  Humph, well, I’m a woman of my word.  Also got text from Tuesday night date guy who apparently gets lost easily, Directionless Dude.  After getting lost in the parking garage looking for his car, he was thrilled with himself that he found the highway.

           Wednesday – text – midday inspiration from The Preacher.  Wednesday evening – voicemail – responded with an email.  Got a response email.   Directionless Dude wants to meet up again.  Wednesday night – phone calls – Paranoid called to set time to meet.  Facebook guy calls.  He finally has a voice, sounded very sweet and soft-spoken.  Definitely something new to me.  Wednesday bedtime – dizzy – managed to keep all names straight though.

           Thursday – text – The Preacher sends, “Today the greatest single source of wealth is between your ears.” -Brian Tracy.  Swell, thanks for the…well, nothing.  Thursday evening – date – Paranoid, short thin black guy.   Thursday night – text – Directionless Dude wanting me to pencil him in.

           Friday – in check – in no way am I getting a big head about all this attention.  On my early morning run I was going up a sidewalk and saw a small animal hobbling away in a nearby driveway.  As I approached the driveway, under the sound of my music I heard a slight “hssss.”  Turned my head to find a black ‘n’ white tail up and two furry butt cheeks at full attention spraying away.  I’ve never sprinted away from an animal so fast in my life.  Obviously, I am not adored and wanted by all. 

Last Men Standing

          No point faulting the men who came in late to the game.  Like I said before, I had a small surge of contacts the week of New Year’s.  At the time it would have been too soon to lock them into that NYE slot but no reason I couldn’t find out more about them.  Right? 

          In the weeks leading up to New Year’s I had an array of flakes.  Sadly, it wasn’t snow.  Hopefully, my shoveling is behind me and I can move forward with a clean start in the New Year.

          As of last night I officially pulled my POF file.  I am done with that mess.  And frankly, I’m exhausted.  I was on the phone with a friend and tried to do a tally of all the dates and phone calls I’ve had over the past few months- realized I didn’t have a clue.  Unimportant.  What is important is that I follow through with what I set out to do.  Find someone before New Year’s.

          Although my profile is gone, the newest men aren’t.  Having been in touch with them before New Year’s I figure technically they’re still game.  Now I just have to keep them straight.  Back to my post-it with clues.  I had one date over the weekend.  I’ve got 2 dates this week, 2 others I email, 2 texters, and a 1 facebooker.  That should keep me busy.  Well, for a little while anyway.

On to Greener Pastures?

          I have less than two months left until New Year’s to find myself a date and things aren’t looking good.  I still have no idea how this online dating works for people.  I have had plenty of first dates and very few second or third.  I’m not a quitter so, rather than give up and put this blog to rest, I decided to shake things up and try a different online dating site.  Although the tweets for “Amish online dating” were very appealing, I figured I needed to opt for a site with people who actually own a computer. 

          I was planning to keep my profile up on the old site, just in case someone worthy should magically appear and, was going to focus more on the new pool of choices.  However, the first new site I tried (singlesnet) was insane.  The second I hit the complete registration button, I had winks and interests and emails popping up out of no where.  There was no way to filter out what I look for, just basic stuff like non-smoker, likes pets.  It was more of a free-for-all, very overwhelming and useless.  It definitely felt like online shopping, women ’09 catalogue for men.

          So I deleted that profile the next day and tried yet another site (Okcupid).  This one is super complex with a bazillion questions.  You get emails, their suggestions, you can also “wink” and yada yada.  This site shows more of a personality match but it also shows an “enemy %.”  Does anyone really want to read the word “enemy” when they’re looking for a date?  They didn’t really think that one through, did they?  Also, I did notice that some of those faces looked familiar, fellow plentyoffishers.  

          Decided I’ll keep the Okcupid profile up for a bit and give it a go.  But as of now, plentyoffish seems to be the most user-friendly and best for filtering.  If anyone has any other sites or suggestions I’ll take them.  Hell, I’ll even take nominations.  

          Having my face out there on two sites isn’t exactly comforting.  I do at times feel like I’m auctioning myself off or pimping myself out.  But, what the heck.  I’ve got nothing better to occupy my time right now.