According to Dr. D, there are thirteen Deadly Dating Patterns that women could fall into. I fell into two of them. And I feel they are two of the “normal” ones. If you fall into some of the others, . . . lay off the crazy juice. She gives great examples and, of course, a more doctor-y feel, but this is how I interpreted them:
1) FLAME OUT – This is the best relationship I’ve ever had, an amazing three hours. I’d like a princess cut in a platinum setting, please.
2) THE FANTASY RELATIONSHIP – Just because Shemar Moore doesn’t know me, doesn’t mean anything. We are perfect together and will have perfect babies.
3) CRUMBS – He said he is going to leave his wife. And this is the 627th time he has promised, so I know he’s really going to do it now.
4) HERMIT – Peek-a-boo
This is a semi-fit for me. Although I’m not shy, let’s face it, after a long day of work some people just irk me. At that point, I’d rather not share breathing space with them.
5) I’LL MAKE YOU LOVE ME – You’ve got all the right stuff. So, you’re not interested, no problem. Allow me to introduce myself, “Hello, I’m Wonderwoman.”
6) ABUSE RECYCLE – SMACK – POW – rinse – repeat
In all honestly, my heart goes out to these women.
7) THE SAFETY NET – Such a loyal pup. If I leave out food, you will come back too.
8) NOT PERFECT, I’LL PASS – You know, that third nipple doesn’t really fly with me.
9) CHASE ME – I like you. No, I don’t. I do, but I’m not telling. Let me push you away. Okay, come back.
10) FADE AWAY – I like you so much but I don’t want to bore you; so I’m going to sit like a stone and not talk.
11) JEALOUSY TRAP – Oh yeah, you love me? Well then, please stop talking to all other women forever. Don’t look at them, eyes on the road. Wait for the male bank teller to become available. And if you could cut off ties with your mother, that’d really help my ego.
12) JUST BUDDIES – Look at that hottie over there. Sure, I’ll go put in a good word for you. By the way, I have boobs too, but they don’t make it to the parade very often.
Clear as a bell when I read this one. I knew it was me just from the title. Tomboys-R-Us. Having worked in many male-dominate jobs, I have become exceptional at blending in so I would be treated more equally. As a result, talking to guys is not an issue. However, flirting is a foreign language.
13) THE GRASS IS GREENER – Ooo, look a blonde one. Oh, a blonde with muscles. Whoa, brown wavy hair and muscles. Wait. What’s around that corner?
Well, there you have it ladies. Where do you fit in?
Oh, and guys . . . don’t think you are getting off the hook so easily. I’ll have your Deadly Dating Patterns next week.
New Year's Date Countdown 