Sunday was my date with Buff Shorty. As expected, his 5’5” claim was 5’3” in actuality, and that was with shoes. Oddly enough the buffness from his pictures was an understatement. His biceps were bigger than my thighs and bulging so much that his t-shirt sleeves did not fit over them so his shirt puffed at the shoulders. Ladies, if this gets your heart racing, I’ll gladly pass along his number.
What went wrong:
I met him on eHarmony and after asking the first round of multiple choice questions, he decided to skip the rest of “the process” and went straight to email.
I realize now that I like “the process” because I learn more about them overall. Sure, you could just ask the same questions in an email but once you develop a dialogue, it is hard to back track and you forget to ask. As a result, we had very little to talk about because we had very little in common, which most likely would have been discovered during “the process.” What we did talk about was incredibly dull after an hour of it.
How dull you want to know? When I was running errands later that afternoon, I had this little ditty playing over and over in my head.
Every party needs a pooper that’s why we invited you. Party pooper. Party pooper.
I took that as my brain telling me – hey, he’s not the one either.
Moving on.