Posts Tagged ‘eHarmony’

The Date That Didn’t…


     Back to my old tricks again juggling a few online guys at a time this past month, one from Match and three from eHarmony.  The first guy from eHarmony disappeared after a few emails back and forth.  The second guy from eHarmony bored me to tears over email, telling me random crap about himself like, “I could eat a whole jar of peanut butter.”  Yup, that was its own paragraph.  We weren’t talking about food or passions or weaknesses, he just threw that information out there.  This now left me with the third guy from eHarmony and the guy from Match.

     The guy from Match is half black and half Italian and claimed in his profile that that was the best of both worlds.  After ogling over his pictures, I wasn’t going to argue with him.  We texted during the week and on Thursday we settled on Saturday morning to meet.  But that was it.  When I didn’t hear from him on Friday evening, I shot him a quick text asking if he still wanted to meet and when.  He text back saying, “Anytime…we can do lunch.”  I replied asking when, where, and all that jazz, hoping to get some details.  Never heard back.

     Saturday morning rolls around, I head out for a run, get home, shower, eat something, and then sit to watch a little TV.  Finally, at 11:58am, I get a text:

Mr. No-Show: Afternoon, great day for a run

Zia’s thoughts: Are you freakin’ kidding me?  I thought you wanted to meet for lunch.  Why the hell are you just texting me now, at noon!?

Zia’s response (at 12:11pm): It was a nice day for a run.

Mr. No-Show (at 12:42pm): Are you familiar with “such’n’such?”

Zia’s thoughts: Dude, it’s been a half an hour, where the hell did you disappear to?

Zia’s response (at 12:47pm): No, I don’t really know that area.

     He sent a few texts in a row to set up a place.  And again, I had to ask what time.  At 1:09pm he tells me…

Mr. No-Show: I was thinking 2.

     I did not see this for a few minutes so he texted again asking if that was okay.

Zia’s thoughts: Are you freakin’ kidding me?  That means I have twenty minutes to make myself presentable for a first meet!  I hope you are not expecting glitz and glam.

Zia’s response: Yeah.

     As I cursed out this unknown man while I put my make-up on in a hurry, I decided he’d get a made up face but jeans and a t-shirt are as fashionable as I was getting.

     I hopped in my car and realized I was going to be about five minutes late.  Sent him a text to tell him.  Five minutes later I get a text.

Mr. No-Show: Runnin late

Zia’s thoughts: MoTheR F*cKeR.  You picked this time and now you can’t even show up for it!?

Zia’s response: About how long?  Ten-fifteen minutes?  If so, I’m gonna run to Barnes & Nobel real quick.

Zia’s thoughts: If he ends up being later, at least I’ll have something to do and it’ll be a good meeting place.

     He tells me fifteen minutes and I tell him to let me know when he parks.

     It was a holiday weekend.  When I left the parking garage, I saw that the restaurant we decided on was packed.  Sent him a text about a different place that was next to B&N.  He said okay.

     About fifteen minutes later, I check out at B&N, walk back to my car, place my bag in the car, and then finally get a call from Mr. No-Show asking where the restaurant is.  Told him where and to let me know when he’s parked.  I walk back to the restaurant and stand out front and patiently wait…and wait…and wait…and then impatiently wait.  I get a phone call saying he doesn’t see the restaurant.  I asked if he was on foot or in his car.  He hesitated, “in my car.”

Zia’s thought: WTF!?  It’s a city strip, everything you need to get to is on foot.  Park! Park! PARK!  Is this your first day off the short bus?

     Again, I told him to find parking and got off the phone.  At this point I was annoyed and irritated.  No condition to meet someone for the first time.  And now I’m getting rained on.  Screw it.  Sent him a text telling him I had to take off.  As I set foot into the parking garage I get a reply.

Mr. No-Show (at 3:28pm): I just parked.

     For anyone doing the math, that was an hour and a half after we were “scheduled” to meet.

     I have said it before and like a broken record I’ll say it again – PLANNING!  Show me you put a little thought into meeting me.  I don’t think I’m asking for much.  I would just like to go out with a guy that is actually interested in meeting me, maybe even a little excited, and actually puts in a little effort into planning the date.  That’s what I get for trying to go on a date with a hot guy.  Why would they put in much effort, they don’t usually have to, right?

     This now leaves me with the third guy from eHarmony.  I’m utilizing their free communication month.  We have progressed to emailing and hopefully will chat this weekend.  However, I have yet to see a picture.  But after this experience, here’s to hoping he is butt-ass ugly.


7 Things About Me

The adorable Erica over at Waste My Time tagged me in what is like a chain letter for bloggers, giving prompt to this week’s post.

Here are the rules:
1. Make a post and link the person who awarded you.
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them they’ve won!

7 Things About Me

1. Way back when, I dated a rocket scientist.  Yes, it is as fun to say as you’ve imagined.
2. Said rocket scientist proclaimed that he believes every person has a super power.  On one date, after getting out of the car in a parking garage a few blocks away from the beach, I said, “It’s low tide.”  He asked how I knew. I said, “the smell.”  Dubbed: Super-sniffer.
3. I don’t like foods that begin with “M.” – No mushrooms, mayo, marshmallows, or anything that may have lived in the Mediterranean.
4. What I’d do for a Klondike bar?  Not much. Ice cream is sacred and deserves more respect than just being cut into a square and then drowned in cheap chocolate.
5. I have a freakishly accurate photographic memory.  Between that and my Super-sniffer, it’s a wonder I’m not the newest side-kick on Psych.
6. Most words people use to describe me start with an “S” or an “S” sound – sarcastic, sardonic, cynical, smartass, sassy, saucy.  Some have said sweet and the African-American male population seems to like sexy.  Somehow sensitive has never popped up though.  Baffling.
7. My kryptonite: Intoxicating scents: fabric softener, food, shampoo, etc.  And forget it if a man has superbly matched a killer cologne that compliments his natural pheromones – I’m a goner.  No telling what I’ll do once I’m on that drug.

Here are my 15 recently discovered (or just some flat-out favorite) bloggers.

1. Manshopper – My sister from another mother.

2. Wandering Menace – Love what she gets herself into.

3. Ken – Fellow perv.

4-6)  The crew at Met Another Frog: Skye, Elizabeth Rose, & Sam Sharpe

7)  The Winker – Zoe Blue

8)  Sarcastic Bride – Takes one smartass to know one.

9)  Date Ritual – Newcomer but earning her stripes

10)  Jen – For your inner tree-hugger.

11) Miss Melissa Mae – Love her humor and delivery.

12) Something She Dated – kindred spirit.

13) Single Steve – Fellow eHarmony veteran

14) The Buzz – Up & coming

15) and Jack – ‘Cause how could you not dig him?

Going in Blind

     Alright party people, I’ve got a month to go before my New Year’s deadline.  Time to crack down on the date search.  And as always, I’ve gotten myself into a bit of a pickle.

     As my eHarmony subscription came to an end at the beginning of the month, I contacted a few guys as a kind of a last hooray, just to see if I’d get any last-minute takers.  Well, my subscription ended and I didn’t get much of a response.  However, luck was on my side and my subscription ended right as a free communication period was starting.  And, as it turned out, one of those last-ditch-efforts was a taker and responded a few days after my subscription ended.

     We worked our way through the eHarmony process until I realized that since I was no longer a paying member, I wasn’t going to get to the email stage.  So, when we got to the final section of questions, I strategically placed a map to my personal email address and explained that my subscription (a.k.a. I’m cheap and using this free communication to the fullest) would end before we would get to the email stage.

     He emailed a few days later, very brief, saying he was still interested.  After receiving my response, he emailed back asking to meet up for coffee and for my number.  He called, again very brief, and we set up a time.  He left it to me to pick the place since he doesn’t know the area too well.  And we ended the conversation with me emailing him the location over the weekend and then wished each other a Happy Thanksgiving.

     As soon as I hung up the phone, that’s when it hit me – Oh sh*t!  I have no idea what this guy looks like.  I just set myself up on a blindish date.  How is that even possible?

     Once your eHarmony subscription ends, you can no longer see photos of your matches.  I could read his profile and saw that we were matched when I was able to see his picture, but that was over three weeks ago.  I’m a busy lady and I’ve talked to at least ten other guys by now.  I was and am drawing a blank, totally coming up dry.  Wouldn’t know him if you threw him at me.

     I thought of a zillion ways to try to ask for his picture but they all sounded like, “Hey, I don’t remember you so you must not be important,” or “By the way, I am juggling a million guys right now and I have lost track of your face in the sea.”  Truth of the matter is, I hate it when guys do that to me, so I didn’t want to do that to him.  I like to live by the Golden Rule as best I can. . . and look where it has me. 

     I know that I have at least seen his face before and I’m trying to remember if my last-ditch-efforts were only to good-looking guys.  (Dare to dream, right?)  I am hoping, praying, and crossing my fingers that he is the unexpected surprise Santa leaves under the tree and not the present that goes straight to the re-gift pile.  Guess I will find out tonight at seven.

Double Booking

     On Sunday I had a first date lined up with a guy from eHarmony.  When I arrived at my date location, I was a little early so I sat in my car and fiddled on my phone for a bit.  It was about five minutes until my date when my phone rang.  I took a quick glance at the caller ID and answered.

Zia:  Hello?

Bill:  Hi Zia, it’s Bill from eHarmony.

     I wanted to say, “Where are you?”  Some forces from the great beyond kept me from opening my mouth.  Instead I went with…

Zia:  Oh, hi.

Bill:  How’s your Sunday going?

Zia:  (hesitant, drawn out)  Gooood.  And yours?

Zia’s Thoughts:  Oh man, is he chickening out or calling to cancel?  I’ve already driven thirty minutes to meet him.

Bill:  Good.  It’s nice to finally get a chance to talk.

Zia:  (another drawn out response)  Yeah…

Zia’s Thought’s:  ???  We’re supposed to have lunch, not talk.

Bill:  Figured I’d call now since I have to go into work later for some more overtime.

Zia’s Thought’s:  Overtime!?  Oh crap!

     Pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the caller ID again.  I was talking to Bill from LA not Bill from the OC.  Orange County was lunch today and Los Angeles was phone call.  This was the precise reason why I programmed their city after their shared name – so I would know who was who.  Would help if I remembered to read that important information.  Smooth Zia, smooth.

     Once I got my head around who I was talking to, I kept checking my phone for a text from the Bill I was supposed to be meeting.  Then, as I was chatting with Bill 1, Bill 2 sent his “arrival” text.  While still chatting with Bill 1, I sent a reply text to Bill 2 telling him I’d be right in.  Told Bill 1 I was out running around (not a lie) and asked if I could call him back later.  Hung up and entered the restaurant a little flushed.  Ugh, the situations I find myself in.

     I then continued my date with Bill 2.  But more on that later…

Not a Fan

     I know, it is absolutely crazy to join an online dating site and expect to actually meet people.  Ludicrous, right?  It is no secret that this blog all started because of online dating and the men I met.  Meeting men online and finding dates is not a problem.  Finding ones I want to keep around…well, that’s a whole different issue.

      Since I have become well versed, so-to-speak, with dating websites, I feel it my duty to report when I find a lousy one.  Sadly, Dr. D steered me wrong on this one.  She gives a list of top recommended dating sites to use, and shouldn’t make the list.  She may have recommended it for its “FREE Duet Compatibility Profile.”  I assure you nothing is free.  Once you fill out all the info to register you need to pay to actually see and do anything that might have been “free.”  There’s no free trail period and I can see why.  The whole sight is a catalogue of out-of-stock products.

     Seeing as I forked over the dough for this broken machine, it seemed right to complain and try to get my money back.  I mean, I’m paying for a service that’s not being provided right?  I emailed a complaint about how I have not had any responses to the ice breakers/emails I sent and that I’m looking for people in my area and have only been contacted by people from across or in another country.  Here’s a look into my relationship with Johnny 5: 

Johnny 5’s response email:  Members utilize their Perfectmatch accounts in a variety of ways – and
some may only ‘check in’ once a week. Others might be busy with work, on vacation, pursuing another relationship on Perfectmatch – or are taking a break. 
…When waiting for responses to your Icebreakers or email, generally, I recommend a 2-week period before moving on to another member, or not pursuing communication further with a non-responsive recipient.  We ask that members who are not going to be utilizing their Perfectmatch account for an extended period of time *hide their profiles* temporarily, …However, members can initiate MAIL and ICEBREAKERS with all other members they may find when using one of our various searches.  Thus it would be completely possible for you to receive matches from various locations.  Have you used our advanced member search capabilities yet?  …Please keep in mind that when utilizing the ‘CUSTOM SEARCH’ tool, you will be able to search for members by more specific factors, such as interests, education, background/values and lifestyle traits – at ranges as close as within 25 miles of your zip code. 

Zia’s thoughts:  Ah, duh, really?  And hell no there is no 25 miles range option – it’s 75!  You’re trying to tell me there is no one compatible in a 75 mile range?  Man, I’m in trouble. 

Zia’s response:  Hi Johnny 5,  Yes, I realize that people have different approaches to using online dating, but I have a hard time believing you guys have created a site where all members check in once in a blue moon, are on a break, or a permanent vacation.  I wouldn’t really recommend using that as a selling point, since I believe most people who try dating online expect at least 1 or 2 results. 

     I am not exaggerating when I say I initiated contact by sending out 40 icebreakers and have gotten NO responses from those.  Am I to believe that ALL of those people forgot to “hide” their profiles?  I have waited 3 weeks, per your 2 week recommendation and still nothing.  I’ve sent emails as well and the only response I received was from a man who didn’t even know he had an account and gave me some email address to contact him because he said he doesn’t use this site. 

Johnny 5’s response email:  Hello Zia, I do see that you have sent out quite a few IceBreakers and have just
received a few responses back. 
…you have had success with email replies. In fact I see several members who seem interested in you. You might try to see if they would like to meet for coffee somewhere so that you can get to know each other. It’s just a thought. 
     Also, our most successful members attribute their success to being very pro-active in reaching out to other members. Since you have had success with email I would suggest sending a quick email demonstrating your interest to any member you find interesting. I see you have not sent email recently, so you might give this a try. 
Zia’s thoughts: Oh dear God, this guy is a drone reading from a script. 

Zia’s response:  In regards to the email replies: one was from a man out of the country, one was from a man across the country, one was from a file you guys pulled for reasons I’m assuming relate to wack-a-doodle status (which I grasped right away from his 20-yr-old pic & 47-yr-old claim, along with creepy wording), another was from the man I said didn’t know he had an account and redirected me to another email, and one was from a man I responded to but never heard back from.  That only leaves mister “potential stalker” status who just keeps emailing me his phone number and “when can we go out” emails without asking anything about me or telling me much about himself.  None of those seem like very possible or safe “meets for coffee.” 

…I’ve used all the search options and changed it up, not being ubber picky, just trying to see if I get some response. I haven’t sent an email in a while because the same people who aren’t responding, are the ones who keep coming up.  …also have issues with your site sending me an email, telling me I have a new one from a member, only to go to my inbox and find nothing there but the old ones. 

     I have been on other dating sites before and have never had this issue.  I know I’m no supermodel, I’m aware of the merchandise I’m pushing.  Since your site wasn’t working for me, I recently tried another.  This week alone I have 3 dates.  No joke.  So can you see or at least understand my frustration with your company. …I feel like I am wasting money.
     Johnny 5, I know you’re just doing your job and giving the responses they are telling you to and I respect that.  I’m just saying I am a very dissatisfied customer and would like a refund.  …in all honesty, your site just really isn’t working for me.  If you need to forward me along to a supervisor or manager that’s fine.

Johnny 5’s response email: …However, members can initiate MAIL and ICEBREAKERS with all other members they may find when using one of our various searches.  Thus it would be completely possible for you to receive matches from various locations.  …Have you used our advanced member search capabilities yet?  …Please keep in mind that when utilizing the ‘CUSTOM SEARCH’ tool, you will be able to search for members by more specific factors, such as interests, education, background/values and lifestyle traits – at ranges as close as within 25 miles of your zip code. 

Zia’s thoughts: Deja vu.  Didn’t I already read all that?  Ugh. 

     I didn’t bother responding again.  Figured I’d take matters into my own hands.  I’ve already wasted my money and don’t want others doing the same.  I am sure you all know someone dating online or thinking about it.  Please urge them not to use  I realize by encouraging people not to join, I lessen my chances of meeting someone on there by no new members joining, but I like to think of it as “taking one for the team.” 

     If you or someone you know is looking for a dating site here are a few successes I know:  Cousin Jo-Jo, recently married, e-harmony.  Best friend from high school, engaged and baby on the way, plentyoffish.  And another friend’s current boyfriend and smooth sailing relationship,  

And just in case you’re not completely sold on my argument, have a look at the most recent “perfect match” for me.  This seem acurate to you?