Posts Tagged ‘Sugardaddy’

Hey, what’s your sign?

     Facebook guy asked to meet me a few Fridays ago.  First Friday things came up so he canceled.  The following Friday was the reschedule date.  That Friday came and went.  No phone call, email, or text with any details for the meet or cancelation.  This week he had the audacity to IM me on Facebook and say that we keep missing each other.  I’m sorry, but I fail to see how this is a we situation.  He seems to be screwing up just fine without any assistance.  I quickly told him I had to go and haven’t heard from him since.  Needless to say, I called it quits on this guy too. 

     Between Sugardaddy and Facebook guy, that makes me 0-2 in the past few weeks.  And, since my online dating days are over, my well has dried up.  Time to find a new well, but where?

     So yesterday I paid a much needed visit to my esthetician for my usual threading and dose of nosy-Asian-woman wisdom.  As I was laying on the table, undoubtedly making the most attractive faces while having eye brow hairs yanked from my face, she chimed in on the Chinese New Year.  After asking me what year I was born she said, “Oh, you need a Tiger.” (Damn straight I do.)  Went on how this is the year of the Tiger and it will be a good year for me.  She said I needed to be with a Tiger and that Dogs are my best friends.  (…I believe that line is already taken, but if she wants it…)  

     Where does this delightful information leave me?  I guess I now have to bring back the classic, “what’s your sign,” but with an updated flair.  How do you think the guys will respond to me in a bar if I waltz up and ask, “What’s your inner animal?”

     Attention getter…or no?


Calling it Quits

     One great date, does not a relationship make.  Almost two weeks after our initial date (I’m a Long Way from Being a Sugar Baby) , I feel Sugardaddy is no more.  First off, he waited four days to call after the date.  It was a short call telling me he was unexpectedly going out-of-town for work for about two weeks.  I did learn on our date that he has a government job and does a lot of traveling.  (My best friend is convinced he’s a spy for the CIA.)  Anyhow, he said he’d call me the following day and never did.  Knowing how last-minute traveling can be, I didn’t hold that against him and shot him a text the following day to see how the things went.  Short response text back about missing luggage.

     The week went by and no word.  (Best friend believed he was in a tree staking out his next assignment.)  So, on that Friday I just sent a casual text inquiring if his week went better than his Sunday had.  Luggage didn’t arrive for four days, things were busy, and he was out for a drink.  (Guess he’s out of the tree.)  We had a little short text banter and then that was it.  The weekend went by, no word.  All last week, no word.  I had received some other Sugardaddy emails, that as usual, I couldn’t read, and saw that he hadn’t checked his profile in over a week, so I knew he wasn’t blowing me off for someone else.  Either that or the tree didn’t get reception.  He should have been back this weekend, and yet, no word.  But he did manage to check his Sugardaddy profile.

      So, such is life.  I think what annoyed me the most is that after being on so many first dates with guys and hearing the blasé, “Let’s meet up again,” his sincerity and interest was refreshing.  And how odd do you find it that I could text him and he’d respond, but yet he could not take the initiative or find the time to contact me first?  Come on, how long does it take to shoot a short text?  Fifteen seconds?  (Best friend now convinced he’s an assassin and was cleaning up his mess.)  If he really wanted to see me again, a little interest would have been nice.  (Well, his interest may not have worked out for his target’s sake.)

     Sadly, he’s not the only one I’m calling it quits on…

I’m Goin’ In

     I wish I had some fabulous news to report about another date with Sugardaddy, but I don’t.  Unfortunately he is out-of-town on business and all I got was one brief depressed phone call last week telling me so.  I’m flattering myself by telling myself that the depressed voice was because he was bummed that he wouldn’t get a chance to see me anytime soon.

     In other news…my date yesterday canceled on me and I couldn’t have been more thrilled.  That should tell you something right?  There needs to be some excitement, anticipation before a date.  I felt nothing.  It would have been our second date but, let’s face it, he doesn’t have a “jump-my-bones” quality about him, so really, where would the relationship be going?

     Speaking of “jumpless bones,” I had a date earlier in the week that fell into that category.  I openly admit that I’m usually oblivious when someone is interested in me.  However, I find the guys with a complete lack of game  easy to read.

     He is always super eager to see and talk to me.  What can I say, I am a stunning conversationalist.  But telling a woman your date canceled, so we should go out…aaaah…mmm.  Maybe blatantly saying they weren’t the first option is not a way to win someone over.  In this case, I really didn’t want to be the first option, so that actually worked out on my end.  And for his sake, if you’re more excited to see the backup date maybe the first date should have never existed.

     At any rate, we met at the movies.  I forwent the popcorn and decided on an overpriced box of candy.  After some wheeling and dealing we scored some seats.  We get on just fine, so chatting before the movie was no problem.  Mind you, I’m fully aware that he is more into me than I am into him.  I am very conscious of my body language and trying desperately not to give any indication that anything physical could possibly happen. 

     In all that focusing I forgot to watch my movements.  And that’s when I felt it.  Oh, shit.  I lost a Junior Mint into the great beyond.  I had a Junior Mint lodge between “my mangos.”  Looked up briefly to see that he was people watching and missed my nothing but net cleavage shot.  Now the project would be fishing it out. 

     I had a little mental conversation with myself that went something like this:  Okay, it’s a movie.  When the lights dim and he focuses on the movie I’ll go in real quick and swoop it out.  Need to be quick.  Hand down my shirt, don’t want him getting any ideas.  

Lights are dimming…and…now.  Crap, missed.

     Truth be told, “my mangos” are a little more on the “melon” side, so I had misjudged the exact location when I went in for my initial retrieval.  I have now knocked the target between my bra and tank top.

Regroup.  Second attempt.  Wait, he turned his head. 


Finger down, found target.  It’s a hit.  Target slid under left breast.  Finagle finger over top of target and return to center.  Don’t fight left breast.  This time use left breast in the assist.  Swoop and victory.

     Mission took a little longer than expected but no excitement was spotted from the man to my left, so I was in the clear.  On the other hand, I was so focused on my body language toward my date, didn’t bother to look on my other side.   Let’s just say, that was the best movie ticket that the teenage boy ever bought.  Strangely he disappeared shortly after.

I’m a Long Way from Being a Sugarbaby

          Oh crap, dare I say it…I like the guy.

          The other day I realized that I forgot to delete my sugardaddyforme profile.  This tidbit of knowledge was brought to my attention by an email saying I had mail on that site.  Figuring it was just another moron that I wouldn’t be able to email back, I was pleasantly surprised to find I could.  I was twice as shocked to find that he actually asked questions to get to know me and openly answered questions about himself.

          We emailed for a few days, in which I discovered that he’s divorced, has a son, works in government, and has a mild obsession with all things Seinfeld.  Now, I can tolerate the Seinfeld stuff, but the rest is nothing I’d usually jump at.  Skeptical that the divorce was recent, there’s excess baggage, and baby mamma issues, that’s just a lot to dive into.  But against my skepticism, I agreed to meet him.

          He suggested a coffee shop.  I told him which Starbucks to meet me at.  Caught a glimpse of him walking by the window.  Pictures don’t do him justice, bonus for me.  He came in but there were no seats so we left to find another place.  Went into an insanely oversized restaurant with plenty of open seats mid-day on a Monday.  Sat, ordered beers, got a lot of water refills, and chatted.  Came up with the code name “candy,” since anytime either of us mentioned we got weird looks from the passers-by.  

          Aside from the divorced/kid thing, we had a lot in common.  We both have traveled and both have interesting bathroom stories from Japan.  Now, if any “westerner” has been fortunate to make a trip over there and had the joy of sitting on one of their pimped out toilet seats, you may relate to this.  For those of you unaware, there are many button options, sound effects, and bun warmer temps to choose from.  It’s quite elaborate.  Anyway, I believe the highlight of the story-telling hour was this:

Him:  Well, I couldn’t read Japanese and I saw the picture of the two curved lines and then the dashed one, but I didn’t know what it was. 

Me:  Well, I couldn’t read Japanese either, but I thought the picture was pretty clear.

Him:  I didn’t know, so I pushed it.  And then there was a blast of water.

Me: (laugh)

Him:  And then there was the blast of air.

Me: (more laughing)

Him: I was very surprised.

Me:  Your first bidet experience?

Him:  Yeah.  I must have had it on a high strength.

Me:  I didn’t know they had different strength options.

Him:  Well, I was still dripping.

          I think I may have found a keeper.  Anyone willing to tell embarrassing bathroom stories on a first date, a rare find.

          Our date ended, a hug and a peck, an invite and accept of going out again, and four hours later I was in my car again.  Let’s hope he doesn’t give himself the kiss of death by waiting three days to call.  I know my best friend is rooting for him.  She’s hoping for wedding bells and then wants to be holding the video camera for the announcement to my family on how we met.   


 Other Sugardaddy Posts: In the Land of Sugar, Sunday Situation

Crying Wolf

          Eek, three days to go and not much to show.  I have a few prospects sitting on back burners.  And the only reason they’re on back burners is because they put themselves there.  I am really getting sick of this boy-who-cried-wolf syndrome that is going around.  If you say you’re going to call – CALL.  It’s not like we’ve ever met before or you’re rejecting me to my face.  If you decide I’m not for you, don’t email me back.  If you have no intention of calling don’t say you will.  In the words of my mother, “either shit or get off the pot.”

          On the stove we have: chatter box latin boy who within the first minute on the phone asked, “So, you don’t have any babies?”  Then we have a nice boring guy who called once, he talked I listened.  I was tired so I wasn’t sure if it was my sleepiness or if he really was that dull.  Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I’ll answer the phone if he calls again.  I have another guy who was looking for a Christmas “cuddle buddy” as he put it.  That line didn’t really work for me, but once I got him to chat via email, found out he’s not so bad.  Then of course we have a slew of cheap-ass sugardaddies who won’t upgrade their memberships so I can read their emails.   

          It being the beginning of the week I did have some new options, but nothing really striking my fancy.  So, I’ll keep trucking along as I have been.  I’ll make plans for New Year’s and if someone fits in great.  If not, no big loss.  Not like I’ll be losing sleep or crying over any of those pot-sitters.  No need to let their social constipation get me down.

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