In the Land of Sugar

          Let me start off by saying that there is a whole new online dating lingo when you venture off to (Sunday SituationYou are no longer female seeking male, male seeking female, etc.  As you can assume, male changes to “sugardaddy” and I have now become a “sugarbaby.”  Great, ’cause I wanted to try and sound as trashy as possible.  There’s also “sugarmomma,” “sugarbaby guy,” and sugardaddy & baby with “gay” tagged on.  They cover all grounds.

          With my 3-day trail I did all the usual bio, searching, and emailing.  I contacted a few and got little or no response from them.  I’ll get to why in a minute.  I did get a lot of emails from, you guessed it – gramps.  One man emailed and in his subject line put, “I know I’m older than what you’re looking for.”  I opened his file to see him in a picture with his daughter and son-in-law.  His daughter was easily five years older than me.

          Another man sent me a kiss with the phrase, “Just give me on chance.”  After looking at his out-of-focus-mile-away picture, I decided the “one chance” would be better used on a man who might live long enough to get the reply email.

          The biggest repulsion came from a man looking for an extramartial relationship for things he can’t get at home.  If he took two seconds to read my bio he would have seen that I’m looking for a single guy.  I don’t have “home wrecker” written on business cards for a reason.  The age he claimed and the picture he was sporting puts my dad in the young studmuffin category.  I emailed his link to my best friend and she responded with, “He better have money if he’s showing off that mug.”

          As for the guys within my age range…if you’re claiming to have money, show it.  Don’t be a cheap ass and not pay for a subscription that sugarbabies can’t reply to!  Sugardaddyforme is a paid site, hence the 3-day trail.  I have no dough, so I’m not paying.  You profess wanting to take care of someone, well, small start, pay for this.  You are knowingly on this site looking for women who have far less money than you.  And those true gold-diggers you’re looking for aren’t going to show there hoo-ha’s if you don’t start showing them the money.

          However, Sugardaddyforme sees this a little differently.  The day after I canceled my membership I got an email saying they’d work out a payment plan for me that’d fit my needs.  A few days after that I got an email with the subject line: Invest in Your Financial Future.

The email had some great stuff in it and it was too good not to share.  Here are the highlights:

“You are on this site because you want to meet a generous man to be your Sugar Daddy. …to help you with your bills and to spoil and pamper you in other ways.

who said you can only have one sugar daddy at a time? We won’t tell if you don’t.

…to have the best chance of meeting generous sugar daddies, you need to at least be able communicate to exchange email addresses and phone numbers. You also don’t want to look too desperate or needy because that scares guys away. (Right, and paying for a subscription will clear that up.) What does it say to a man who looks at your profile and sees that you won’t even spend the tiny amount of $20 per month on a membership so that you’ll be able to communicate with him? Why should he send you a message that you can’t read or reply to? (He shouldn’t. Just show’s he’s too cheap to upgrade himself.)

…may provide you with an allowance of $3,000 or $5,000 per month or even more! And what if you had two or three sugar daddies giving you the same amount? You do the math. Wouldn’t that instantly make your life a whole lot easier? (Ah, no. You aware what some women are doing to get that money?) Don’t you need that kind of man, or even a few of them? 

…Who’s smarter, the woman who won’t spend $20 and therefore never meets the sugar daddy she needs? Or is the smartest woman the one who is happy to invest the very small cost of a membership so that she can continue to meet lots of sugar daddies, every hour of the day, all month long? (How dumb are these women?) That woman will make sure she gets what she needs! Will you? Or will you do nothing and hope a miracle happens? (Miracles happen everyday.  Why is Paris Hilton famous?)

You’re on this site because you have financial needs, possibly very serious and urgent needs. Take matters into your own hands. (Get a job.) seize this one opportunity.  Take control of your life and your financial destiny. 

…By as early as tonight (they call escort services for that) you could be spoiled and pampered and taken care of by the kind of generous, considerate, real man you have been dreaming of meeting. Don’t spend another lonely, sleepless night worrying about your financial situation.

Needlesstosay I don’t think is the right fit for me.  It was worth a shot.  And for shits and giggles I’ll leave my free-waiting-for-a-miracle-to-happen profile up just in case Prince Charming finds his way to online dating.




  1. Jimmy Said:

    Absolutely adore this post. Particularly the “(get a job)” commentary. Time is running out though Zia, can you really afford to be so picky? 😉

    • ziazitella Said:

      Of course I can. 😉 My original goal was to see if it is possible to meet “the love of your life,” like some of my friends & family have, thru online dating. I just gave myself a time frame to see if I could find someone within that ballpark for New Year’s.

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