I’m a Long Way from Being a Sugarbaby

          Oh crap, dare I say it…I like the guy.

          The other day I realized that I forgot to delete my sugardaddyforme profile.  This tidbit of knowledge was brought to my attention by an email saying I had mail on that site.  Figuring it was just another moron that I wouldn’t be able to email back, I was pleasantly surprised to find I could.  I was twice as shocked to find that he actually asked questions to get to know me and openly answered questions about himself.

          We emailed for a few days, in which I discovered that he’s divorced, has a son, works in government, and has a mild obsession with all things Seinfeld.  Now, I can tolerate the Seinfeld stuff, but the rest is nothing I’d usually jump at.  Skeptical that the divorce was recent, there’s excess baggage, and baby mamma issues, that’s just a lot to dive into.  But against my skepticism, I agreed to meet him.

          He suggested a coffee shop.  I told him which Starbucks to meet me at.  Caught a glimpse of him walking by the window.  Pictures don’t do him justice, bonus for me.  He came in but there were no seats so we left to find another place.  Went into an insanely oversized restaurant with plenty of open seats mid-day on a Monday.  Sat, ordered beers, got a lot of water refills, and chatted.  Came up with the code name “candy,” since anytime either of us mentioned sugardaddyforme.com we got weird looks from the passers-by.  

          Aside from the divorced/kid thing, we had a lot in common.  We both have traveled and both have interesting bathroom stories from Japan.  Now, if any “westerner” has been fortunate to make a trip over there and had the joy of sitting on one of their pimped out toilet seats, you may relate to this.  For those of you unaware, there are many button options, sound effects, and bun warmer temps to choose from.  It’s quite elaborate.  Anyway, I believe the highlight of the story-telling hour was this:

Him:  Well, I couldn’t read Japanese and I saw the picture of the two curved lines and then the dashed one, but I didn’t know what it was. 

Me:  Well, I couldn’t read Japanese either, but I thought the picture was pretty clear.

Him:  I didn’t know, so I pushed it.  And then there was a blast of water.

Me: (laugh)

Him:  And then there was the blast of air.

Me: (more laughing)

Him: I was very surprised.

Me:  Your first bidet experience?

Him:  Yeah.  I must have had it on a high strength.

Me:  I didn’t know they had different strength options.

Him:  Well, I was still dripping.

          I think I may have found a keeper.  Anyone willing to tell embarrassing bathroom stories on a first date, a rare find.

          Our date ended, a hug and a peck, an invite and accept of going out again, and four hours later I was in my car again.  Let’s hope he doesn’t give himself the kiss of death by waiting three days to call.  I know my best friend is rooting for him.  She’s hoping for wedding bells and then wants to be holding the video camera for the announcement to my family on how we met.   


 Other Sugardaddy Posts: In the Land of Sugar, Sunday Situation



  1. Green Jen Said:

    Sounds like a winner to me. Let’s hope he has other good stories outside of the bathroom experiences. Looking forward to hearing more.

  2. B. Said:

    Wait–“four hours later I was in my car again”?? What happened in those four hours? WHAT HAPPENED??!?! I want to see a picture. I’m so happy!!!

  3. Jimmy Said:

    Woop woop….lend us a tenner?

  4. Sweet! Glad to hear someone’s having luck on the love scene – all I’ve been reading today are disaster stories! Please keep us posted 🙂

  5. Katarina Said:

    Awwwwwwwww – very exciting! Hey – and if he does wait 3 days or longer before calling, don’t write him off, maybe he’s just busy and wanting to ease into things 😉

  6. Kim Said:

    that sounds like a great match! don’t leave us waiting, more, more, more

  7. Caleb Said:

    Seriously? That’s it? One story about “isn’t splashed water on your butt funny” and he’s in? I’m not blaming you- in fact, it’s mostly men out there that I hold responsible for this abysmal bar-lowering.

    I’d heard for years that most men were idiots, jealous, desperate, creepy, etc., but I shrugged it off. Then I started doing more research and looking into the kinds of ‘attention’ that pretty girls get on dating sites. Wow. Really, it’s become the focus of my own personal blog just because its fricking amusing. I mean, who sends a picture of their potbelly and naked wiener as an opening message? What’s wrong with guys?

    I guess the point is that just because so many men out there seem to have little (read:nothing) going for them doesn’t mean you should give up or lower the bar. Remember, those creepers/morons that you are encountering are usually the ones chasing after YOU. If you look past them to the guys just doing their own thing and having fun, you’ll probably have a lot better luck.

    You’re welcome, ladies.

    • ziazitella Said:

      He was in b/c he was willing to tell an embarassing story on the 1st date. If you read the sentences prior, I said we BOTH lived in Japan and had bathroom stories. Normally toilet humor isn’t going to wow me over.

      Think you need to do some more reading of my blog. I’m not lowering the bar for them. Once they’ve been tested and proven idiot, they’re done. Some show their idiocracy via email or text and some don’t shine with idiocracy until date night.

  8. Caleb Said:

    I have read your blog. Many posts, actually.

    Sharing an embarrassing story to make a girl laugh should be PAR for the course, not an exception. I’m not saying that this guy shouldn’t be in; but the key was that he was making you laugh. Why can’t more guys be normal and just make a girl laugh? I mean, we all know that being fun and open is the way to get (most) girls. It just shouldn’t be rare.

    If you had to put a percentage on the number of guys without obvious creep-factors that made you laugh, what would it be? Half? 10%? Sadly, my point is that this is the exception rather than the rule. I’d rather see that changed!

    • ziazitella Said:

      Actually, most of my dates make me laugh on the first date w/o a creep-factor. I like being able to laugh at yourself more though. It’s a long-haul factor for me. I come from a huge family of teasers & if you can’t laugh at yourself, you’ll never make it.

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