Posts Tagged ‘Sugarbaby’

Calling it Quits

     One great date, does not a relationship make.  Almost two weeks after our initial date (I’m a Long Way from Being a Sugar Baby) , I feel Sugardaddy is no more.  First off, he waited four days to call after the date.  It was a short call telling me he was unexpectedly going out-of-town for work for about two weeks.  I did learn on our date that he has a government job and does a lot of traveling.  (My best friend is convinced he’s a spy for the CIA.)  Anyhow, he said he’d call me the following day and never did.  Knowing how last-minute traveling can be, I didn’t hold that against him and shot him a text the following day to see how the things went.  Short response text back about missing luggage.

     The week went by and no word.  (Best friend believed he was in a tree staking out his next assignment.)  So, on that Friday I just sent a casual text inquiring if his week went better than his Sunday had.  Luggage didn’t arrive for four days, things were busy, and he was out for a drink.  (Guess he’s out of the tree.)  We had a little short text banter and then that was it.  The weekend went by, no word.  All last week, no word.  I had received some other Sugardaddy emails, that as usual, I couldn’t read, and saw that he hadn’t checked his profile in over a week, so I knew he wasn’t blowing me off for someone else.  Either that or the tree didn’t get reception.  He should have been back this weekend, and yet, no word.  But he did manage to check his Sugardaddy profile.

      So, such is life.  I think what annoyed me the most is that after being on so many first dates with guys and hearing the blasé, “Let’s meet up again,” his sincerity and interest was refreshing.  And how odd do you find it that I could text him and he’d respond, but yet he could not take the initiative or find the time to contact me first?  Come on, how long does it take to shoot a short text?  Fifteen seconds?  (Best friend now convinced he’s an assassin and was cleaning up his mess.)  If he really wanted to see me again, a little interest would have been nice.  (Well, his interest may not have worked out for his target’s sake.)

     Sadly, he’s not the only one I’m calling it quits on…

I’m Goin’ In

     I wish I had some fabulous news to report about another date with Sugardaddy, but I don’t.  Unfortunately he is out-of-town on business and all I got was one brief depressed phone call last week telling me so.  I’m flattering myself by telling myself that the depressed voice was because he was bummed that he wouldn’t get a chance to see me anytime soon.

     In other news…my date yesterday canceled on me and I couldn’t have been more thrilled.  That should tell you something right?  There needs to be some excitement, anticipation before a date.  I felt nothing.  It would have been our second date but, let’s face it, he doesn’t have a “jump-my-bones” quality about him, so really, where would the relationship be going?

     Speaking of “jumpless bones,” I had a date earlier in the week that fell into that category.  I openly admit that I’m usually oblivious when someone is interested in me.  However, I find the guys with a complete lack of game  easy to read.

     He is always super eager to see and talk to me.  What can I say, I am a stunning conversationalist.  But telling a woman your date canceled, so we should go out…aaaah…mmm.  Maybe blatantly saying they weren’t the first option is not a way to win someone over.  In this case, I really didn’t want to be the first option, so that actually worked out on my end.  And for his sake, if you’re more excited to see the backup date maybe the first date should have never existed.

     At any rate, we met at the movies.  I forwent the popcorn and decided on an overpriced box of candy.  After some wheeling and dealing we scored some seats.  We get on just fine, so chatting before the movie was no problem.  Mind you, I’m fully aware that he is more into me than I am into him.  I am very conscious of my body language and trying desperately not to give any indication that anything physical could possibly happen. 

     In all that focusing I forgot to watch my movements.  And that’s when I felt it.  Oh, shit.  I lost a Junior Mint into the great beyond.  I had a Junior Mint lodge between “my mangos.”  Looked up briefly to see that he was people watching and missed my nothing but net cleavage shot.  Now the project would be fishing it out. 

     I had a little mental conversation with myself that went something like this:  Okay, it’s a movie.  When the lights dim and he focuses on the movie I’ll go in real quick and swoop it out.  Need to be quick.  Hand down my shirt, don’t want him getting any ideas.  

Lights are dimming…and…now.  Crap, missed.

     Truth be told, “my mangos” are a little more on the “melon” side, so I had misjudged the exact location when I went in for my initial retrieval.  I have now knocked the target between my bra and tank top.

Regroup.  Second attempt.  Wait, he turned his head. 


Finger down, found target.  It’s a hit.  Target slid under left breast.  Finagle finger over top of target and return to center.  Don’t fight left breast.  This time use left breast in the assist.  Swoop and victory.

     Mission took a little longer than expected but no excitement was spotted from the man to my left, so I was in the clear.  On the other hand, I was so focused on my body language toward my date, didn’t bother to look on my other side.   Let’s just say, that was the best movie ticket that the teenage boy ever bought.  Strangely he disappeared shortly after.

I’m a Long Way from Being a Sugarbaby

          Oh crap, dare I say it…I like the guy.

          The other day I realized that I forgot to delete my sugardaddyforme profile.  This tidbit of knowledge was brought to my attention by an email saying I had mail on that site.  Figuring it was just another moron that I wouldn’t be able to email back, I was pleasantly surprised to find I could.  I was twice as shocked to find that he actually asked questions to get to know me and openly answered questions about himself.

          We emailed for a few days, in which I discovered that he’s divorced, has a son, works in government, and has a mild obsession with all things Seinfeld.  Now, I can tolerate the Seinfeld stuff, but the rest is nothing I’d usually jump at.  Skeptical that the divorce was recent, there’s excess baggage, and baby mamma issues, that’s just a lot to dive into.  But against my skepticism, I agreed to meet him.

          He suggested a coffee shop.  I told him which Starbucks to meet me at.  Caught a glimpse of him walking by the window.  Pictures don’t do him justice, bonus for me.  He came in but there were no seats so we left to find another place.  Went into an insanely oversized restaurant with plenty of open seats mid-day on a Monday.  Sat, ordered beers, got a lot of water refills, and chatted.  Came up with the code name “candy,” since anytime either of us mentioned we got weird looks from the passers-by.  

          Aside from the divorced/kid thing, we had a lot in common.  We both have traveled and both have interesting bathroom stories from Japan.  Now, if any “westerner” has been fortunate to make a trip over there and had the joy of sitting on one of their pimped out toilet seats, you may relate to this.  For those of you unaware, there are many button options, sound effects, and bun warmer temps to choose from.  It’s quite elaborate.  Anyway, I believe the highlight of the story-telling hour was this:

Him:  Well, I couldn’t read Japanese and I saw the picture of the two curved lines and then the dashed one, but I didn’t know what it was. 

Me:  Well, I couldn’t read Japanese either, but I thought the picture was pretty clear.

Him:  I didn’t know, so I pushed it.  And then there was a blast of water.

Me: (laugh)

Him:  And then there was the blast of air.

Me: (more laughing)

Him: I was very surprised.

Me:  Your first bidet experience?

Him:  Yeah.  I must have had it on a high strength.

Me:  I didn’t know they had different strength options.

Him:  Well, I was still dripping.

          I think I may have found a keeper.  Anyone willing to tell embarrassing bathroom stories on a first date, a rare find.

          Our date ended, a hug and a peck, an invite and accept of going out again, and four hours later I was in my car again.  Let’s hope he doesn’t give himself the kiss of death by waiting three days to call.  I know my best friend is rooting for him.  She’s hoping for wedding bells and then wants to be holding the video camera for the announcement to my family on how we met.   


 Other Sugardaddy Posts: In the Land of Sugar, Sunday Situation

In the Land of Sugar

          Let me start off by saying that there is a whole new online dating lingo when you venture off to (Sunday SituationYou are no longer female seeking male, male seeking female, etc.  As you can assume, male changes to “sugardaddy” and I have now become a “sugarbaby.”  Great, ’cause I wanted to try and sound as trashy as possible.  There’s also “sugarmomma,” “sugarbaby guy,” and sugardaddy & baby with “gay” tagged on.  They cover all grounds.

          With my 3-day trail I did all the usual bio, searching, and emailing.  I contacted a few and got little or no response from them.  I’ll get to why in a minute.  I did get a lot of emails from, you guessed it – gramps.  One man emailed and in his subject line put, “I know I’m older than what you’re looking for.”  I opened his file to see him in a picture with his daughter and son-in-law.  His daughter was easily five years older than me.

          Another man sent me a kiss with the phrase, “Just give me on chance.”  After looking at his out-of-focus-mile-away picture, I decided the “one chance” would be better used on a man who might live long enough to get the reply email.

          The biggest repulsion came from a man looking for an extramartial relationship for things he can’t get at home.  If he took two seconds to read my bio he would have seen that I’m looking for a single guy.  I don’t have “home wrecker” written on business cards for a reason.  The age he claimed and the picture he was sporting puts my dad in the young studmuffin category.  I emailed his link to my best friend and she responded with, “He better have money if he’s showing off that mug.”

          As for the guys within my age range…if you’re claiming to have money, show it.  Don’t be a cheap ass and not pay for a subscription that sugarbabies can’t reply to!  Sugardaddyforme is a paid site, hence the 3-day trail.  I have no dough, so I’m not paying.  You profess wanting to take care of someone, well, small start, pay for this.  You are knowingly on this site looking for women who have far less money than you.  And those true gold-diggers you’re looking for aren’t going to show there hoo-ha’s if you don’t start showing them the money.

          However, Sugardaddyforme sees this a little differently.  The day after I canceled my membership I got an email saying they’d work out a payment plan for me that’d fit my needs.  A few days after that I got an email with the subject line: Invest in Your Financial Future.

The email had some great stuff in it and it was too good not to share.  Here are the highlights:

“You are on this site because you want to meet a generous man to be your Sugar Daddy. …to help you with your bills and to spoil and pamper you in other ways.

who said you can only have one sugar daddy at a time? We won’t tell if you don’t.

…to have the best chance of meeting generous sugar daddies, you need to at least be able communicate to exchange email addresses and phone numbers. You also don’t want to look too desperate or needy because that scares guys away. (Right, and paying for a subscription will clear that up.) What does it say to a man who looks at your profile and sees that you won’t even spend the tiny amount of $20 per month on a membership so that you’ll be able to communicate with him? Why should he send you a message that you can’t read or reply to? (He shouldn’t. Just show’s he’s too cheap to upgrade himself.)

…may provide you with an allowance of $3,000 or $5,000 per month or even more! And what if you had two or three sugar daddies giving you the same amount? You do the math. Wouldn’t that instantly make your life a whole lot easier? (Ah, no. You aware what some women are doing to get that money?) Don’t you need that kind of man, or even a few of them? 

…Who’s smarter, the woman who won’t spend $20 and therefore never meets the sugar daddy she needs? Or is the smartest woman the one who is happy to invest the very small cost of a membership so that she can continue to meet lots of sugar daddies, every hour of the day, all month long? (How dumb are these women?) That woman will make sure she gets what she needs! Will you? Or will you do nothing and hope a miracle happens? (Miracles happen everyday.  Why is Paris Hilton famous?)

You’re on this site because you have financial needs, possibly very serious and urgent needs. Take matters into your own hands. (Get a job.) seize this one opportunity.  Take control of your life and your financial destiny. 

…By as early as tonight (they call escort services for that) you could be spoiled and pampered and taken care of by the kind of generous, considerate, real man you have been dreaming of meeting. Don’t spend another lonely, sleepless night worrying about your financial situation.

Needlesstosay I don’t think is the right fit for me.  It was worth a shot.  And for shits and giggles I’ll leave my free-waiting-for-a-miracle-to-happen profile up just in case Prince Charming finds his way to online dating.


Sunday Situation

          As I sat around on Friday afternoon after my date canceled, I did a little online boy shopping.  Emailed about five prospects; heard from one, some haven’t checked their email yet, and one had the audacity to delete my email without even reading it or looking at my profile.   Humph, some people.

          Anyway, that night, and into Saturday, I got to thinking, something has got to change.  But what could I do differently?  And then in hit me.  I would use a suggestion my sister passed along. 

Now, anyone knowing my sister, knows that this is already a stupid idea and bad decision.

          So, on Saturday, after my dinner of popcorn with a side dish of M’nM’s, I picked myself up off the couch, trekked upstairs, and sat at my computer to fill out yet another online dating profile.  Since they have a 3-day trail period, I figured, okay, why not?  And after realizing I only had $13.00 in my checking account that was to last me til my next paycheck (next week), I was warming to this site being a wise choice.  I am now a not-so-proud member of

          As usual, I barely hit the submit button and someone wanted to chat with me.  Two men in different time zones sent me “kisses” and one gem said in his profile that he could pay $10,000 a month.  Off to a great start, this should be an interesting experiment.

          This morning, however, I received an email from a man who seems almost too good to be true.  On the downside, he had no photo attached.  I’m guessing he may fall into the rich and ugly category.  I’ll be sure to keep you abreast of that situation.