Posts Tagged ‘Junior Mints’

I’m Goin’ In

     I wish I had some fabulous news to report about another date with Sugardaddy, but I don’t.  Unfortunately he is out-of-town on business and all I got was one brief depressed phone call last week telling me so.  I’m flattering myself by telling myself that the depressed voice was because he was bummed that he wouldn’t get a chance to see me anytime soon.

     In other news…my date yesterday canceled on me and I couldn’t have been more thrilled.  That should tell you something right?  There needs to be some excitement, anticipation before a date.  I felt nothing.  It would have been our second date but, let’s face it, he doesn’t have a “jump-my-bones” quality about him, so really, where would the relationship be going?

     Speaking of “jumpless bones,” I had a date earlier in the week that fell into that category.  I openly admit that I’m usually oblivious when someone is interested in me.  However, I find the guys with a complete lack of game  easy to read.

     He is always super eager to see and talk to me.  What can I say, I am a stunning conversationalist.  But telling a woman your date canceled, so we should go out…aaaah…mmm.  Maybe blatantly saying they weren’t the first option is not a way to win someone over.  In this case, I really didn’t want to be the first option, so that actually worked out on my end.  And for his sake, if you’re more excited to see the backup date maybe the first date should have never existed.

     At any rate, we met at the movies.  I forwent the popcorn and decided on an overpriced box of candy.  After some wheeling and dealing we scored some seats.  We get on just fine, so chatting before the movie was no problem.  Mind you, I’m fully aware that he is more into me than I am into him.  I am very conscious of my body language and trying desperately not to give any indication that anything physical could possibly happen. 

     In all that focusing I forgot to watch my movements.  And that’s when I felt it.  Oh, shit.  I lost a Junior Mint into the great beyond.  I had a Junior Mint lodge between “my mangos.”  Looked up briefly to see that he was people watching and missed my nothing but net cleavage shot.  Now the project would be fishing it out. 

     I had a little mental conversation with myself that went something like this:  Okay, it’s a movie.  When the lights dim and he focuses on the movie I’ll go in real quick and swoop it out.  Need to be quick.  Hand down my shirt, don’t want him getting any ideas.  

Lights are dimming…and…now.  Crap, missed.

     Truth be told, “my mangos” are a little more on the “melon” side, so I had misjudged the exact location when I went in for my initial retrieval.  I have now knocked the target between my bra and tank top.

Regroup.  Second attempt.  Wait, he turned his head. 


Finger down, found target.  It’s a hit.  Target slid under left breast.  Finagle finger over top of target and return to center.  Don’t fight left breast.  This time use left breast in the assist.  Swoop and victory.

     Mission took a little longer than expected but no excitement was spotted from the man to my left, so I was in the clear.  On the other hand, I was so focused on my body language toward my date, didn’t bother to look on my other side.   Let’s just say, that was the best movie ticket that the teenage boy ever bought.  Strangely he disappeared shortly after.