Posts Tagged ‘First Dates’

Back on Track

     I had previously mentioned how I was going through a drought, and then last week had two dates and then another last night.

     The date from last Friday was a result from my latest Speed Dating adventure.  Nothing really to report.  There was nothing bad about the date, nothing wrong with the guy, it just…wasn’t there.  No spark, no pizzazz, it just fell short.  I know a date is going down hill if as he’s talking I start envisioning who of my friends I’d like to set him up with.  Meaning, I like the guy, just not for me.

     Speaking of setting up, that takes me to last Thursday’s date.  As some of you are aware, my esthetician, Lulu, and I have a bond, could be partly because she has been all up in my lady business for years.  She has recently decided and taken it upon herself to try to set me up.  I’ll need to back up a little for this one.

     Several months ago, while laying on her table, she began yakking away about my singleness, dating, yada yada.  She began telling a story about setting someone up with someone’s brother and having the phone number.  She then picked up a tissue box and showed me a woman’s phone number written on the bottom.  I gathered she was setting this woman up.  As the story went on, in all her immigrant Vietnamese-ness, I realized, “Oh, she wants to set me up with that woman’s brother.”  The fact that he lives in San Fran and I’m in LA, didn’t seem to faze her.  When I left, Subtle-T was there for her appointment, and I asked her to find out if what I was listening to was correct.  Here’s the thing, Subtle-T is married, and therefore, does not receive these lectures.  They talk about food, and, as I later found out, me.

     Fast forward a bit and Subtle-T receives a phone call from Lulu with a phone number of a different guy.  Lulu had decided that it was up to Subtle-T to call, not me.  A few days later, Subtle-T received a voicemail from Lulu, and rather than call me, she called Suzie Q and told her about the message.  “I have another number.”  The two of them were finding this very amusing.

     I talked to one guy, kind of boring, didn’t really like him, and Lulu was crushed by this.  I found out later that he had just started talking to his ex-girlfriend again and took my call out of obligation.  Fine with me, I was doing the same thing.  I have been informed by Lulu that the man in San Fran has been contacted now.  I don’t know by whom, but I’m sure I’ll get an update on my next appointment.  During my last appointment, she decided to cut out the middle man and gave me the third guy’s phone number.  She insisted I text him, not call, because when you call and don’t know him, you have nothing to say.  The only things I knew about him is that he is Italian and goes there to get his back waxed.  Hey, the way I see it, he knows the problem and he’s taking care of it.  Lulu tends to go on about Italians being hairy and I was doubting she was painting a pretty picture of me, since she had told him I was Italian.  It was during one of those rants that I was about to chime in and she stopped me before I finished and said, “Oh, I tol’ him.  For an Italian, you not so hairy.”  Great.  So, I went home and texted him.  He replied back.

Client #3:  Hi Zia, yeah Lulu did mention your name.  I’m kind of embarrassed to admit I know Lulu, but that’s a different story.

Zia’s Thoughts:  Buddy, you’d be more embarrassed if you knew I knew why you know Lulu.  Nothing is sacred on that table.

Zia’s Text:  She makes herself known when she walks into a room.

Client #3:  I guess she also enjoys playing matchmaker, huh?  …So do you we should test Lulu’s skills and meet up for lunch sometime?

Zia’s Text:  I feel we have to go to lunch for our own safety if nothing else.  Don’t want to upset the woman who holds tweezers and hot wax.  I could walk out with one eyebrow next time.

Client #3:  I agree, let’s keep here happy for our sake.

     We met for lunch, and let me just say, he is a very pretty, pretty man.  Little thin for my taste, but good-looking.  Again, no spark, no flare, but no red flags either.  Just a nice guy that I’ll probably never see again.  Well, unless Lulu has other plans.

Five Minutes to Impress Me…and GO!

     I dusted off my date shoes, grabbed a pen, and headed wingwoman-less to my second attempt at speed dating last Thursday.  I checked in, ordered a beer, set my phone to silent, and then scoped out the room.  My first pick-up before the shindig even started…a new potential wingwoman.  She’s mid-30s, an attorney, and told me a few times that she was going to think of all the singles guys she knew because I was really cool and deserved someone.  Love this chick already.

     At the stroke of eight, we found our seats and the men soon followed.  There were more men than women this time around, so they had “break” stations in between a few of the dates.  One of those empty spaces was right before me.  Not exactly a comfortable situation, but I’ll get to that later.

Date #1: Architect. Cute. Studied, worked, and lived in Italy for a couple of years.  He was a little, how shall I say,…fragile, and I’m not sure how he’ll flow with my, how shall I say,…edge, but he’s worth looking into.

Date #2: Tall, dark, and mildly attractive. Had a name I could not pronounce just by reading the name tag. He then clarified that his mother changed the spelling because they were Jewish. She didn’t want her son walking around with the word “ham” in his name because it wasn’t kosher.

Date #’s 3-8: The order of these men have all kind of jumbled together in my head.  Ten dates in one night was a bit much.  However, some of their characters did leave an impression.

     One was, of course, the boring guy.  One was the adorable pocket-sized foreigner.  One was a nice guy, but was obviously not over his ex if he is bringing her up in a five-minute date.  I mean, really, dude.

     The other three characters were a bit more memorable.

The creepy foreigner: Utilized his “break” station to stare at me. His voice was light and airy and…uh…thought he was at the wrong style of speed dating, if you catch my drift.  He made sure to point out that his name’s German, but he’s not.  Buddy, I think your Asianess gave that away. He then wanted me to guess the movies he had in his collection.

The odd bird:  Yet another Asian.  We talked about traveling.  Said how I wanted to go to New Zealand some day.  He proceeded to tell me about a taxi ride he took when he was there, and how he thought the driver was farting.  Then at the end of the five minutes, he pulled out a pen to write my name down.  I looked up when I heard a strange noise.  His pen had a camera top that “flashed” when he pressed down to write.  Nothing like bringing the paparazzi to a date, how very LA of you.  

Mr. Missed Opportunity: Older, but really great.  When it was time to check “yes” or “no,”  I was on the fence about him.  It came down to…could I see myself kissing him? -Nope.

     Only two more dates left, and I was out of beer and had to pee like nobody’s business.  Fortunately, the hostess said we could take a short break.  As I was getting up, my next date was sitting down, and said, “It’s okay, I only need three minutes to impress you.”  And then he whipped out his cell phone and got lost in technology.

     When I returned from the bathroom and sat down, his first question was, “Are you Jewish?”  He claimed that he drew his conclusion from my eyes and my attitude (mind you, I hadn’t said anything yet.)  He then proceeded to try and spar with me.  Even after the whistle was blown, he was still shouting at me from his next seat in front of his next date.  I choose a one-word note to write on my paper so I would not forget who he was: PRICK.

Date #10: Big guy.  Seemed a little intimidated by other date still shouting at me, but not annoyed.  Realized later that Date #9 was his friend.  Didn’t hold that against him.  We chatted and laughed. At the end, I was commenting on making a note, so I wouldn’t forget.  He stood up and said, “I was just gonna say yes.”  -Aw, how cute.

     Ten dates down and I was beat.  My new potential wingwoman and I made our escape.  Making sure we were out of ear shot, she commented on how she thought Date #9, the Prick, liked me.  Really, are we back in elementary school?  Is he going to pull my hair at recess?  Strangely enough, I was having the same hunch.

The Results: Logged on to the site and clicked me three “yes’s” and seven “no’s.”  Was then led to see if any of my “yes’s” matched.  I had two, Date #1 and Date #10. Then I noticed that five of my “no’s” had said yes to me.  Dude, I’m batting 700!  Quite an ego boost this go-around.

Oh…and the Prick, he was one of those yes’s.  Go figure.

As We Carried On

My last post about licensed pot-smoker, Gameless Joe Jackson, had us leaving Dave & Busters and continuing on.  Here’s what followed.

     We headed to a new restaurant and our conversation continued.  We talked about things we want for our futures, how many kids, additional schooling for him, he’s pre-law now, and a bunch of other topics.  I was being interviewed, but for once I didn’t feel like it.  All his questions were very conversational and time flew by.
     He was very good about not looking at his phone while we were together, but it must have been vibrating a lot on the seat next to him because he looked annoyed and then apologized and said his brother kept texting him.
     He picked up his phone to read his texts and then said, “My brother wants to know if we’d like to meet him for a round.”
     Okay, I was gathering the fact that he was smitten…but apparently so was his brother.  At this point, our date was going on four hours.

Zia: Uh, isn’t it getting late?
Gameless Joe Jackson: (teasingly) Well, yes it is.  It is all of 8:30pm.

     I knew very well it wasn’t “late,” but a four plus hour date?  I made a remark about him possibly getting sick of me or tired or something, and he replied:

Gameless Joe Jackson: Actually, I’m having a really good time.
Zia: Me too.

     We finished dinner.  I declined on the drink.  And, despite his brother crashing and the medical marijuana thing,  I was actually hoping to see him again.
     I drove him back to his car.  I got an odd passenger/driver hug good-bye, what I’m assuming was supposed to be a kiss on the cheek, but was more on the jawbone, and said good night.
     The next afternoon I shot him a text telling him I had a good time and hoped to do it again.  I got a very excited reply back telling me he couldn’t wait to do it again.  We texted quite a bit throughout the day.  And the next day he wished me a Happy Birthday.  Sweet of him to remember.
     I didn’t hear from him that Monday, but Tuesday morning I received this text: “Hey you happened through my thoughts, so I just wanted to say hi and have a good day.”

     This guy is really quite adorable, and starting to grow on me.


To read the next post from The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly series, click here.

And the Pitch

Monday’s post, The Wind Up, left off in the midst of my date with Gameless Joe Jackson.  Allow me to fill you in on the conversation cliffhanger I left you with.

Gameless Joe Jackson: So I just have to tell you that I take medical marijuana.  I smoke everyday.
Zia: Oh.  (Here we go.)

Gameless Joe Jackson: I have a license.

     To which he leaned to the side to get his wallet out of his pocket and pulled out his medical marijuana license to show me.  It looked official, but how would I know?  He then went on about it a little, and I listened.  He started to say why he chose pot over other drugs.  And as he began his sentence I finished it with –

Zia: …rather than take a bunch of pills and destroy your liver.
Gameless Joe Jackson: Yes! (As his eyes lit up with excitement. I got it.)

     We talked about it a bit more and I voiced how I don’t date smokers (meaning cigarettes) and although I get why he’s using pot, I’m never gonna smoke up with him.  He was okay with all of that and pointed out that he was relieved I wasn’t getting up and running away.  Didn’t bring it up, but Dude, I’ve heard it all. My shock factor is off the charts.  It’s gonna take more than pulling out a medical marijuana license to have me running for the hills.  I didn’t press as to why he was taking it.  He mentioned something about the military and figured I can ask later after I get to know him a little better.  However, he did mention that the day he was shipped off to boot camp was…9/11.  Okay, Dude, you’re allowed to have issues.
     The conversation continued and we brushed up on the “I’m broke” email and he joked how he could have a beer a month.  When he offered to get me another, I teased him about blowing his budget and making a girl feel special.  His eyes went down and he seemed to blush a little.  It was kind of cute.
     After a beer or two it was time for a bathroom run.  When I returned, he looked at me and said…

Gameless Joe Jackson:  So, you may be meeting my brother.
Zia: Huh?
Gameless Joe Jackson:  My brother text me and said he and his girlfriend are on their way here.
Zia:  Is he coming to check me out?  Make sure I’m okay.
Gameless Joe Jackson:  He’s worried.  Wants to make sure you’re not a serial killer or something.
Zia’s Thoughts:  Yeah, Dude.  You’re 6’2″ ex-military and your brother’s worried about me

     Well, this was a first.  I’ve never had someone’s family member join in on a first date.  I was only the second person he had met from online dating and I gathered the first woman was a bit of a wacko, so little bro was making sure I wasn’t another nutcase.
     We continued chatting and then I saw him staring over my shoulder.  I figured his brother had arrived.  His brother stayed by the entrance, so Gameless walked over to him.  When he came back, I asked if his brother approved.  He joked that he sized me up, realized I was small, and had nothing to worry about.  Duh.  His brother remained in the restaurant but went off to a different area.  I never saw or met him, but it was weird knowing someone was there who could peek over at any time.  Felt like I was being graded or spied on.  It was especially nerve-wracking when I went on another bathroom run and I didn’t see, but knew someone could be watching me.  Very odd, but I’m a trooper.
     After I returned from my bathroom break, he asked if I wanted to go grab something to eat.  I was starving at this point and that sounded great.  Dave & Buster’s was getting a bit noisy, and we didn’t want to stay there to eat.  Since we drove separately, I asked if he wanted me to just follow him there.  He quickly took in the comfort level of the situation and asked if I wouldn’t mind driving, rather than me feeling unsafe in his car.  He was very considerate.  I agreed to drive.  He asked me to hold on as he walked off to the direction I was assuming was his brother’s.  When he returned…

Gameless Joe Jackson:  Ok.  Ready?
Zia:  Did “dad” say it was okay?
Gameless Joe Jackson:  (laughing)  Yeah.
Zia:  Did you get your allowance?
Gameless Joe Jackson:  (patting his wallet) Yup.  All set.


To read the next post from The Good, the Bad & the Ugly series, click here.

The Wind Up

At the Start…continued…

     Our emails had ended on the topic of body piercings.  I don’t have any piercings other than my ears, but he apparently has removed quite a few.  So I chose his former nipple rings as my ice breaker.  I shot him a text, and our conversation began.  A few texts in he suggested we grab a drink some time and, yet again, insisted we had a lot in common.  I agreed to the drink and we planned on Friday afternoon.  He told me he would call/text me on Friday to confirm.  I liked that little touch, I don’t see it much.
     He informed me during our emailing stage that he’s pretty broke.  (This guy doesn’t have much in the way of “game.”)  He is ex-military and with the economy as bad as it is, decided to go back to school on the military dime.  Smart enough plan, and the lack of money wasn’t a deal-breaker for me.  Hey, I’m poor too, birds of a feather.  With this bit of knowledge, and me being hesitant anyway, I made sure I had some cash on me and planned on buying my own drink.
     Friday arrived. We were planning on meeting at 4:30pm.  Sure enough, a little before 3pm I got a text asking if we were still on.  I replied yes and that I’d see him there.
     Now, mind you, he only had one picture posted on his profile. He was wearing sunglasses and making a weird closed mouth smile.  Therefore, I had no clue who I was looking for and didn’t expect him to be all that attractive.  I arrived at Dave & Busters (planned meeting place) right on time and decided to send a text to tell him I was out front, leaving him to come find me.
     Within a minute a man in a ball cap walked up to me.  He pushed up the cap and introduced himself.  Let me say ladies…I was not let down.

         We went into the restaurant and sat at the bar.  We ordered a couple of beers and started out with some normal getting-to-know-you conversation, most of which was carry-over from our emails and texts.  He was a good emailer.  We can thank his natural curiosity for that.
     I could tell he was a bit nervous, but he was armed with questions and eventually relaxed a little.  I could also tell that I was answering the questions to his liking.  Being as it is awkward to sit side by side at a bar and try to get to know someone, we moved to a bar top, which was also a little further from the people starting to roll in.
     There was a lot of laughing and a lot of smiling on both parts.  Then, of course, in true Zia Zitella out-of-no-where fashion, a new conversation started…

To read the next post from The Good, the Bad & the Ugly series, click here.

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