Five Minutes to Impress Me…and GO!

     I dusted off my date shoes, grabbed a pen, and headed wingwoman-less to my second attempt at speed dating last Thursday.  I checked in, ordered a beer, set my phone to silent, and then scoped out the room.  My first pick-up before the shindig even started…a new potential wingwoman.  She’s mid-30s, an attorney, and told me a few times that she was going to think of all the singles guys she knew because I was really cool and deserved someone.  Love this chick already.

     At the stroke of eight, we found our seats and the men soon followed.  There were more men than women this time around, so they had “break” stations in between a few of the dates.  One of those empty spaces was right before me.  Not exactly a comfortable situation, but I’ll get to that later.

Date #1: Architect. Cute. Studied, worked, and lived in Italy for a couple of years.  He was a little, how shall I say,…fragile, and I’m not sure how he’ll flow with my, how shall I say,…edge, but he’s worth looking into.

Date #2: Tall, dark, and mildly attractive. Had a name I could not pronounce just by reading the name tag. He then clarified that his mother changed the spelling because they were Jewish. She didn’t want her son walking around with the word “ham” in his name because it wasn’t kosher.

Date #’s 3-8: The order of these men have all kind of jumbled together in my head.  Ten dates in one night was a bit much.  However, some of their characters did leave an impression.

     One was, of course, the boring guy.  One was the adorable pocket-sized foreigner.  One was a nice guy, but was obviously not over his ex if he is bringing her up in a five-minute date.  I mean, really, dude.

     The other three characters were a bit more memorable.

The creepy foreigner: Utilized his “break” station to stare at me. His voice was light and airy and…uh…thought he was at the wrong style of speed dating, if you catch my drift.  He made sure to point out that his name’s German, but he’s not.  Buddy, I think your Asianess gave that away. He then wanted me to guess the movies he had in his collection.

The odd bird:  Yet another Asian.  We talked about traveling.  Said how I wanted to go to New Zealand some day.  He proceeded to tell me about a taxi ride he took when he was there, and how he thought the driver was farting.  Then at the end of the five minutes, he pulled out a pen to write my name down.  I looked up when I heard a strange noise.  His pen had a camera top that “flashed” when he pressed down to write.  Nothing like bringing the paparazzi to a date, how very LA of you.  

Mr. Missed Opportunity: Older, but really great.  When it was time to check “yes” or “no,”  I was on the fence about him.  It came down to…could I see myself kissing him? -Nope.

     Only two more dates left, and I was out of beer and had to pee like nobody’s business.  Fortunately, the hostess said we could take a short break.  As I was getting up, my next date was sitting down, and said, “It’s okay, I only need three minutes to impress you.”  And then he whipped out his cell phone and got lost in technology.

     When I returned from the bathroom and sat down, his first question was, “Are you Jewish?”  He claimed that he drew his conclusion from my eyes and my attitude (mind you, I hadn’t said anything yet.)  He then proceeded to try and spar with me.  Even after the whistle was blown, he was still shouting at me from his next seat in front of his next date.  I choose a one-word note to write on my paper so I would not forget who he was: PRICK.

Date #10: Big guy.  Seemed a little intimidated by other date still shouting at me, but not annoyed.  Realized later that Date #9 was his friend.  Didn’t hold that against him.  We chatted and laughed. At the end, I was commenting on making a note, so I wouldn’t forget.  He stood up and said, “I was just gonna say yes.”  -Aw, how cute.

     Ten dates down and I was beat.  My new potential wingwoman and I made our escape.  Making sure we were out of ear shot, she commented on how she thought Date #9, the Prick, liked me.  Really, are we back in elementary school?  Is he going to pull my hair at recess?  Strangely enough, I was having the same hunch.

The Results: Logged on to the site and clicked me three “yes’s” and seven “no’s.”  Was then led to see if any of my “yes’s” matched.  I had two, Date #1 and Date #10. Then I noticed that five of my “no’s” had said yes to me.  Dude, I’m batting 700!  Quite an ego boost this go-around.

Oh…and the Prick, he was one of those yes’s.  Go figure.

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1 Comment »

  1. Mama J Said:

    Oh how I wish I was able to be your wing woman for these dates!!! It sounds so fun and entertaining! Good luck on your matches!


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