Date from Wednesday, part Mexican, part Italian, and comes fully equipped with a language barrier. His photos show-off supermodel looks and he’s a bit younger, neither of which is something I usually go for but Dr. D says to date against type, so I thought, what the heck.
There was a lot gearing up for this date. First, after we exchanged numbers, I told him I wasn’t free until the following week. So what does he do, sends me a text the next afternoon, “Hey girl, I’m going to the Rose Bowl later today to run or walk. Do you want to enjoy me? Let me know.” After that, I got a lot of “Hi, how are you,” texts, nothing more. I figure since I was too busy to “enjoy” him the first time he asked that I missed my window of opportunity. What a bummer that would be.
Then one day I got a text asking if we were going to meet up, “one of these daaaays?” He then tried to call and I accidentally hung up on him as I pulled my phone out of my bag. Which won me the text, “Oh my God, you hung up on me! lol.”
When I called him back, he commented on how busy I am and asked if he should fill out an application for a date. I said I would also require a background check and retina scan. Since I was going out-of-town last weekend I told him he could schedule a time for next week. He chose the Wednesday I got back. Then asked what would happen if we didn’t meet then. I told him, “Well, then I’ll fill your spot with another guy.” He liked my honesty and told me he’d send-off the application right away.
I got a text telling me the application was in. Misspellings and all, this is what I received:
Application for a date ( maybe ) if she’s not busy
APPOINMENT DATE APPLICATION
1. Name: Zuzolo (His real name is so cool I had trouble finding an alias until I read the badge of a security guard at the Logan Airport – thank you stranger)
2. Age: 95 years old (feeling younger inside) may need some plastic surgery and a few years
3. Hair: long (wig)
4. Eyes: yes i have
5. Weight: 350 pounds ( trying to get in to the best loser tv show)
6. Language speak: need to learn english ( i may need a teacher)
7. Height: from my head up (wich one) now im laughing.
8. Sex: virgin. (can’t have it) read # 2,5
9. For #8: im kidding , i like it, can we do it ?
10. Occupation: don’t work can’t walk (read # 2,5 again)
11. license #625643756281568 ( but suspended)
12. Incomes: 5,000 annual (no joke)
13. Phone number: you have it baybe.
14. Status: would see on wendsday.
15. Number 12 it’s a lie: 4,000 annual
16. Social security #818-555-7635 (ohh wait that’s my exfriend’s phone #) please don’t call her.
17. Immigration status: please marry me
18. Don’t laugh im a wet bag : now laugh
19. Thanks for not doing #16
20. Nationality: what’s that mean?
21. Vehicle: yes, i dream with one some day, can we drive yours?
22. Btw: i like bmw’s
23. What can you teach me babe ?
APPLICANT
pancho gomez
INTERVIEWER: a very tan girl
SEX: don’t know yet
AGE: 23 years old.. i mean 32 with a beautiful smile
VEHICLE: take’s the train
HOPE AFTER KNOWING ALL MY GOOD STRENGHTS YOU GO OUT WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME STILL :=)
After cracking up laughing:
Zia (email): Application has been received and is under review.
Zuzolo (text): Under review…you don’t need to do that. It’s very clear. lol
To see my response to the application and how the date went, check out Sunday’s post.