ADD Not for Me

Here’s an update on the latest stew-nod: first we emailed, then exchanged numbers, then had our first phone call…

          A few minutes into the phone call I noticed something seemed off.  He sounded distracted, like he was watching TV or something, but I didn’t hear any background noise.  He asked a lot of questions and responded to everything.  Some of the responses were just a chill laid back voice, then others were passionately enraged.  We would be talking about a basic run-of-the-mill topic and then he would shout out, “Right? F%*& that Zia.  Who needs it?” OR “Screw’um.  Good for you Zia.  F$*# them.  F&^#@* bullshit, am I right?

Whoo – okay fella – breathe.

          Then we’d change subjects, move on, then out of no where – “But F*@# that…(enter a prior subject here.)”

Oh, we’re back on this subject again?  Okay.

          After this went on for about thirty minutes he finally said, “Yeah, I have ADD, don’t know if you’ve noticed that.”  (Oh, believe me, I noticed something.)  “I actually was just recently diagnosed.”  (Mystery solved.)

          So the scattered conversation continued for a while.  I kept trying to end the conversation, but how can you when you don’t know where it’s headed?  Then finally he said, “…My dog’s eating this food and she’s kind of fussy.  So today I tried a new food and – well, Zia, I have to go to the bank now.  I’ll call you again sometime.”  And that was it, an instant ending.

          I managed to contain my laughter during the call but after the hang up I lost it.  I knew he would call again because he seemed to really enjoy talking to/at me.  And for my own amusement, I knew I’d agree to meet him someday.  However, between the phone call and the first meet I’m pretty sure he forgot my name, until one day when he called, after I told him I’d be working, and conveniently got my voicemail.

          After getting our conflicting schedules in sync, we finally met.  We took his new pup for a walk around town.  Nice change from the Starbuck’s meet’n’greet.  He walked towards me, not as short as I was anticipating, with the cutest little yorkie – however, he thinks it’s a dashound.  Not dealing with a genius apparently.

          After he sized me up he said, “Oh my God, how weird is that, were dressed exactly the same?”

          I, being me, was oblivious to this.  About a moment later, his dog came up to me and he said, “She must be confusing you with me.  We’re both wearing gray pants.”  – Yeah buddy, that’s it.

          Again, the conversation went everywhere.  How he doesn’t have constant dry mouth is beyond me.  At one point we talked about his ADD and his meds and then he mentioned how he also did his other “medicine.”  I, of course, played dumb – come on buddy, say it, you’re a 36-year-old pot-head.  For me, major turn-off, not that I was feeling compelled to jump his bones anyway.  Case of the Asian flat ass.  I think his may have actually indented.

          The rest of the stroll went something like this:  Yes, I smoke pot…I can’t believe we’re wearing the same outfit…I’m the top salesman in the country…What does it say about us if we dress the same…I like to write…Wonder what people are thinking when they see us walking in the same clothes…I can’t get into that, but I know shit…I love to swear…You think I’m crazy don’t you?

Me: Yeah, lil’bit.

          At the end of the walk he wanted to get together again.  This man totally entertains me but probably not for the reasons he’d like.

          He shot me a text over the weekend wanting to hangout sometime during the week.  I told him what day worked for me.  He sent a text earlier that day asking if I still wanted to hangout.  He called in the evening.  That conversation went something like this:

Him: You don’t do any “treatments, do you?”

Me: (playing dumb) What?

Him: Pot.

Me: No.

Him: Are you straight-laced?

Me: Sure.

Him: Well, that’s what I was planning.  Hey, you go running in the morning, can I go with you?

          So, his master plan for a second date was to smoke up.  Guys, here’s a bit of advice: That plan’s not a winner.  He decided he wanted to go running with me in the morning if he wasn’t to drained from his evening activities.

  🙂  I haven’t heard from him again.



  1. Erica Said:

    I cant give up my cell number to the strangers I’m meeting anymore. I did it to one and he constantly texted me and it just drove me nuts. I stick to msn prior to the meeting, sure its not the same thing, but it works.

  2. Jimmy Said:

    Haha, funniest post I’ve read in ages. Well done for not correcting him on the dog.
    He wanted to smoke pot on the second date?! Gosh, I thought everyone knew that you make the woman cook for you on the second date…that’s the biggy, the test. No point wasting money on endless dates if she can’t cook, eh…

  3. Anita Kloo Said:

    Well I think weed brownies would be a hit!

  4. […] have a personal story for this one.  Amazing right?  Someone thought I wasn’t perfect.  As ADD said to me […]

  5. Johnqd Said:

    You have tested it and writing from your personal experience or you find some information online?

    • ziazitella Said:

      Tested it. Went on the date with the guy so I got first hand experience.

  6. […] in person as he did in his pictures.  I noticed real quick that he was a bit of a busy body and remnant of ADD.  He did a lot of talking.  I did a lot of listening.  However, he kept stopping to say he […]

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