Top 5 Lines of 2011

{ December 23, 2011 @ 9:16 am } · { Uncategorized }
{ Tags: Dating, pick-up lines, Speed Dating, top 5 }

     As the year is coming to a close, I took a few moments to relive some of the best lines I’ve heard this year.  I’m sure everyone has their favorites, but these are what did it for me.

     Coming it at #5 is from everyone’s favorite spider-fearing dater, Mr. Fig Newton.  He found me again on match.com after two years and tried to rekindle what was never there.  I politely turned him down and he responded with:

“Just because you pass, doesn’t mean I have to.”

     Confidence is very important when it comes to dating.  So that is why in the #4 spot we have a guy full of it.  Sadly, he didn’t have the maturity or personality to follow it up.  But he does know how to get your attention when he spouts out:

“It’s okay, I only need three minutes to impress you.”

     Line #3 is not from one of my gentlemen callers, but rather the fabulous Lulu, who likes to meddle in my social life.  She has personally taken it upon herself to try to find me a husband this year.  Every male client she has learns my name.  And every female client is grilled to see if they have a single brother, neighbor, gardener, proctologist, etc.  On a recent visit she told me that she passed along my number to a client because she has a lot of male coworkers and they needed more women at the Christmas party.  Then another client had come in, who has a single male client, who happens to be a lawyer, so of course Lulu’s mind starts spinning out of control.  She continued with a few more of those situations, paused in her work, put her hand on my shoulder, and then said to me:

“I’m sorry.  I always try to sell you.  You’re the only one I know like you, so I sell you.”

     The #2 line of the year was not shared via blog, but it hails from Mr. Organic.  During our texting stage, he was informing me that he can cook.  He said he was good for three dates.  I found out the list, two of which were pasta, so I joked with him about trying to battle spaghetti with an Italian.  His response:

“The goal is to seduce you with my charm, intellect, and boyish good looks.  The dinner is just so you won’t be hungry while those things are happening.”

     And coming in at #1…during my first Speed Dating adventure…how could I, or anyone I’ve told, forget?  How do you to stay memorable during those five short minutes of instantly meeting someone when they are in a sea of other possibilities?  Simple, just tell her:

“I was born vaginally.”

     And there we have it.  The 2011 list of top lines I have heard this year while I was traveling through singledom.  Any classics of your own that you’d like to share?