Posts Tagged ‘Landlady’

What a Cutie

A little birdy told me, that someone thinks I’m cute. 

This little birdy is none other than my landlady/roommate.  I may have mentioned her briefly before but let me paint a clearer picture for you.  She is a larger than life, robust woman, pushing 70, whom I adore.  She loves all and wants everyone to be in love too.  She can’t make a decision to save her life.  She has a zest for life and sees only bubblegum and daffodils.  And has unsuccessfully been trying to marry me off since she has met me.

She has recently taken on the project of redoing the kitchen.  After seven plus years of picking out tile, cabinets, wood floors, back splash,… oh, no tile again, maybe granite, (you get the idea), she has finally taken the plunge into the remodel.  I saw this as a good opportunity for me – no need to go out looking for men; they will be coming to me in droves for the next few weeks.

Although I have been checking out the merchandise, the window displays have not drawn me in. 

When I got home from work yesterday, there was a room full of workers.  However, there were way too many for me to check out without be caught red-handed doing so.  I was going for subtlety, so I just grabbed some lunch from the fridge, checked out the one standing by the fridge and then went upstairs.  Like I said, nothing has really drawn me in.

After they had all left, my landlady was sitting back admiring her decision making ability, and yeah, the work the guys did.  Then she said to me, “someone thinks you’re cute.”  I was a bit baffled by the statement at first and couldn’t imagine whom she was referring to.  Then when she told me it was one of the guys here the lightbulb went on.  I knew I was scoping them out but I didn’t think twice that they might be scoping me out.

At this point my landlady’s mischievous Cheshire Cat grin appeared and I saw that glazed look in her eyes.  She was preparing to play matchmaker.  Now mind you I adore her, but her past matchmaking ability extended to, “You’re single, she’s single.  Now get married and have babies.”  I didn’t think much thought or consideration went into any of it.  But, she proved me wrong today and put her two cents in. 

Her prior knowledge of him before this conversation, was that he was the contractor’s younger brother and he’s originally from Lebanon.  I was not there for the actual conversation between the two, but I imagine it went something like this:

Younger Brother: I think she’s cute.

Landlady: Go talk to her.  She’s nice.

Younger Brother: I can’t.  I get very nervous.  I’m too shy.

Landlady: (Eyeing him up and down and noticing his braces).  She’s friendly.

Younger Brother: (Seeing that she saw the braces.) I get them off in two months.

Landlady: Two months, huh?  How old are you?

Younger Brother: Blah blah.  (I do not have this coveted information.  She said he was younger than me so she wasn’t going to tell me.  Meanwhile, I already know he has braces and now that he’s younger, I’m thinking jailbait.)

Landlady: (Doing some calculating) Hmm. . . tell you what . . . shave . . . put on a nice shirt . . . and come back in two months.

My her demands are getting high.  Now, not only do they have to be single, but men need to have a clean shirt and face and straight teeth.  She better be careful, if that list gets too long some people might start calling her “picky.”

So what do you think, wait out two months for the mystery braceless-face?  Or schedule to be home on his next visit and get hold of the braces now?