Posts Tagged ‘First Date Pointers’

Five Minutes to Impress Me…and GO!

     I dusted off my date shoes, grabbed a pen, and headed wingwoman-less to my second attempt at speed dating last Thursday.  I checked in, ordered a beer, set my phone to silent, and then scoped out the room.  My first pick-up before the shindig even started…a new potential wingwoman.  She’s mid-30s, an attorney, and told me a few times that she was going to think of all the singles guys she knew because I was really cool and deserved someone.  Love this chick already.

     At the stroke of eight, we found our seats and the men soon followed.  There were more men than women this time around, so they had “break” stations in between a few of the dates.  One of those empty spaces was right before me.  Not exactly a comfortable situation, but I’ll get to that later.

Date #1: Architect. Cute. Studied, worked, and lived in Italy for a couple of years.  He was a little, how shall I say,…fragile, and I’m not sure how he’ll flow with my, how shall I say,…edge, but he’s worth looking into.

Date #2: Tall, dark, and mildly attractive. Had a name I could not pronounce just by reading the name tag. He then clarified that his mother changed the spelling because they were Jewish. She didn’t want her son walking around with the word “ham” in his name because it wasn’t kosher.

Date #’s 3-8: The order of these men have all kind of jumbled together in my head.  Ten dates in one night was a bit much.  However, some of their characters did leave an impression.

     One was, of course, the boring guy.  One was the adorable pocket-sized foreigner.  One was a nice guy, but was obviously not over his ex if he is bringing her up in a five-minute date.  I mean, really, dude.

     The other three characters were a bit more memorable.

The creepy foreigner: Utilized his “break” station to stare at me. His voice was light and airy and…uh…thought he was at the wrong style of speed dating, if you catch my drift.  He made sure to point out that his name’s German, but he’s not.  Buddy, I think your Asianess gave that away. He then wanted me to guess the movies he had in his collection.

The odd bird:  Yet another Asian.  We talked about traveling.  Said how I wanted to go to New Zealand some day.  He proceeded to tell me about a taxi ride he took when he was there, and how he thought the driver was farting.  Then at the end of the five minutes, he pulled out a pen to write my name down.  I looked up when I heard a strange noise.  His pen had a camera top that “flashed” when he pressed down to write.  Nothing like bringing the paparazzi to a date, how very LA of you.  

Mr. Missed Opportunity: Older, but really great.  When it was time to check “yes” or “no,”  I was on the fence about him.  It came down to…could I see myself kissing him? -Nope.

     Only two more dates left, and I was out of beer and had to pee like nobody’s business.  Fortunately, the hostess said we could take a short break.  As I was getting up, my next date was sitting down, and said, “It’s okay, I only need three minutes to impress you.”  And then he whipped out his cell phone and got lost in technology.

     When I returned from the bathroom and sat down, his first question was, “Are you Jewish?”  He claimed that he drew his conclusion from my eyes and my attitude (mind you, I hadn’t said anything yet.)  He then proceeded to try and spar with me.  Even after the whistle was blown, he was still shouting at me from his next seat in front of his next date.  I choose a one-word note to write on my paper so I would not forget who he was: PRICK.

Date #10: Big guy.  Seemed a little intimidated by other date still shouting at me, but not annoyed.  Realized later that Date #9 was his friend.  Didn’t hold that against him.  We chatted and laughed. At the end, I was commenting on making a note, so I wouldn’t forget.  He stood up and said, “I was just gonna say yes.”  -Aw, how cute.

     Ten dates down and I was beat.  My new potential wingwoman and I made our escape.  Making sure we were out of ear shot, she commented on how she thought Date #9, the Prick, liked me.  Really, are we back in elementary school?  Is he going to pull my hair at recess?  Strangely enough, I was having the same hunch.

The Results: Logged on to the site and clicked me three “yes’s” and seven “no’s.”  Was then led to see if any of my “yes’s” matched.  I had two, Date #1 and Date #10. Then I noticed that five of my “no’s” had said yes to me.  Dude, I’m batting 700!  Quite an ego boost this go-around.

Oh…and the Prick, he was one of those yes’s.  Go figure.

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The Date That Didn’t…

…happen.

     Back to my old tricks again juggling a few online guys at a time this past month, one from Match and three from eHarmony.  The first guy from eHarmony disappeared after a few emails back and forth.  The second guy from eHarmony bored me to tears over email, telling me random crap about himself like, “I could eat a whole jar of peanut butter.”  Yup, that was its own paragraph.  We weren’t talking about food or passions or weaknesses, he just threw that information out there.  This now left me with the third guy from eHarmony and the guy from Match.

     The guy from Match is half black and half Italian and claimed in his profile that that was the best of both worlds.  After ogling over his pictures, I wasn’t going to argue with him.  We texted during the week and on Thursday we settled on Saturday morning to meet.  But that was it.  When I didn’t hear from him on Friday evening, I shot him a quick text asking if he still wanted to meet and when.  He text back saying, “Anytime…we can do lunch.”  I replied asking when, where, and all that jazz, hoping to get some details.  Never heard back.

     Saturday morning rolls around, I head out for a run, get home, shower, eat something, and then sit to watch a little TV.  Finally, at 11:58am, I get a text:

Mr. No-Show: Afternoon, great day for a run

Zia’s thoughts: Are you freakin’ kidding me?  I thought you wanted to meet for lunch.  Why the hell are you just texting me now, at noon!?

Zia’s response (at 12:11pm): It was a nice day for a run.

Mr. No-Show (at 12:42pm): Are you familiar with “such’n’such?”

Zia’s thoughts: Dude, it’s been a half an hour, where the hell did you disappear to?

Zia’s response (at 12:47pm): No, I don’t really know that area.

     He sent a few texts in a row to set up a place.  And again, I had to ask what time.  At 1:09pm he tells me…

Mr. No-Show: I was thinking 2.

     I did not see this for a few minutes so he texted again asking if that was okay.

Zia’s thoughts: Are you freakin’ kidding me?  That means I have twenty minutes to make myself presentable for a first meet!  I hope you are not expecting glitz and glam.

Zia’s response: Yeah.

     As I cursed out this unknown man while I put my make-up on in a hurry, I decided he’d get a made up face but jeans and a t-shirt are as fashionable as I was getting.

     I hopped in my car and realized I was going to be about five minutes late.  Sent him a text to tell him.  Five minutes later I get a text.

Mr. No-Show: Runnin late

Zia’s thoughts: MoTheR F*cKeR.  You picked this time and now you can’t even show up for it!?

Zia’s response: About how long?  Ten-fifteen minutes?  If so, I’m gonna run to Barnes & Nobel real quick.

Zia’s thoughts: If he ends up being later, at least I’ll have something to do and it’ll be a good meeting place.

     He tells me fifteen minutes and I tell him to let me know when he parks.

     It was a holiday weekend.  When I left the parking garage, I saw that the restaurant we decided on was packed.  Sent him a text about a different place that was next to B&N.  He said okay.

     About fifteen minutes later, I check out at B&N, walk back to my car, place my bag in the car, and then finally get a call from Mr. No-Show asking where the restaurant is.  Told him where and to let me know when he’s parked.  I walk back to the restaurant and stand out front and patiently wait…and wait…and wait…and then impatiently wait.  I get a phone call saying he doesn’t see the restaurant.  I asked if he was on foot or in his car.  He hesitated, “in my car.”

Zia’s thought: WTF!?  It’s a city strip, everything you need to get to is on foot.  Park! Park! PARK!  Is this your first day off the short bus?

     Again, I told him to find parking and got off the phone.  At this point I was annoyed and irritated.  No condition to meet someone for the first time.  And now I’m getting rained on.  Screw it.  Sent him a text telling him I had to take off.  As I set foot into the parking garage I get a reply.

Mr. No-Show (at 3:28pm): I just parked.

     For anyone doing the math, that was an hour and a half after we were “scheduled” to meet.

     I have said it before and like a broken record I’ll say it again – PLANNING!  Show me you put a little thought into meeting me.  I don’t think I’m asking for much.  I would just like to go out with a guy that is actually interested in meeting me, maybe even a little excited, and actually puts in a little effort into planning the date.  That’s what I get for trying to go on a date with a hot guy.  Why would they put in much effort, they don’t usually have to, right?

     This now leaves me with the third guy from eHarmony.  I’m utilizing their free communication month.  We have progressed to emailing and hopefully will chat this weekend.  However, I have yet to see a picture.  But after this experience, here’s to hoping he is butt-ass ugly.

Next Up

          I think either person can initiate the first date.  If you just keep emailing, you might as well list that you’re only looking for a pen-pal. 

          And those class acts who email their number in the first email – seriously!?  They’re usually the ones who have the 2 line bios and interests in MMA and UFC.  Dude really, what could we possibly have to talk about?

          If you’re emailing back and forth for a while and you enjoy reading and writing them, it’s probably a good idea to do an initial meet.  When I told my best friend I was having my first meet she quickly asked, “What are you wearing?”

          “I don’t know,” I said.  “I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

          “I know, that’s why I’m asking,” she replied.

          Not fitting the mold of most women, what to wear is not usually the first thing on my mind.  Don’t think it even makes the top 5.

          I have a whole theory on how to look for your first meet.  Many little factors come into play, but here are the basics.

          When you decide to meet there’s usually a number exchange.  So, there’s either a phone call or text(s) involved.  If you’ve talked on the phone and the voice matches the emails and you’ve already decided you kind of like the person, put a little effort into your appearance – but not a ton.  If you’ve emailed and called and/or texted and it’s going to come down to physical chemistry to make up your mind, just be your regularly dressed self.  If you’ve emailed and exchanged numbers and then there’s an abundance of texts – which has happened to me more than I’d like to admit, you begin to dread the first meet.  At this point I get the feeling that the guy likes me way more than I like him.  So, to dress for this meet, not much effort – no frills.  I’ll show up clothed and little, if any, make-up.  Here’s why:

          He already likes me too much.  I don’t want to be looking too attractive just to have him like me more when I’ve already partly decided he’s a tool.  This works well for me because I have yet to have any of those guys turn out to be keepers.

          However, some of them are still excited and want to see me and all my frumpiness again.  They’re either desperate or I have some hidden “wow” factor to which I’m completely unaware.