Dating Three

            Part of Dr. D’s brilliant plan is, “The Dating Program of Three.”  You date three different men at the same time to find the one.  When one relationship fades out you simply replace him with a new guy. –I’m really liking her style.
            There are a couple of rules. 1) You can only see the guy once a week. –Works for me.  Most people get on my nerves if I see them too much anyway.  2)  No sex with any of the three until you “graduate” to exclusivity with just one. –This has not been a problem since I have not been too physically attracted to too many of them once they opened their mouths and started speaking.  However, after last Monday’s date this could pose as a challenge.  With each guy you fade out, you replace him with a better guy.  If I start going on too many dates with guys I am attracted to, I’ll be walking around all “juiced up.”  And then whoever does manage to “graduate” the program with me is going to hit the mother load.
            Last week I had three dates.  Here’s a recap and a projected outlook for these guys:

Monday Night

Guy: Cowboy

Date: Met at coffee shop.  Impromptu.  Called that night around 6pm and asked if we could “run into each other.”

Conversation: Good flow

Bonding Moment: Laughed over the barista’s resemblance to a caveman

My Shining Moment: He had a little cough from a dry throat and I fished through my purse and found him a buried (very old) cough drop.

His Shining Moment: Peeled the cough drop best he could and then ate it with a good bit of paper on it.  It’s no bug wine, but still.

Hugger: Best so far.  None of this pat-on-the-back-inches-apart-turn-to-the-side-one-armed-smell-my-armpit type hug.  He used both arms, leaned in, and squeezed.  My mangoes actually touched his chest and he wasn’t awkward teenage boy about it.

Contact After: Got a quick little email that night about how much fun I was. –Hey, I put out a good mango-touching hug.  I’m a keeper.

Status: Want to see this guy again.

Tuesday Night

Guy: Bombay Joe

Date: #3, his place –ugh.  Rule #2, no sex.  So I prayed he wasn’t thinking and hanky panky was going to take place.

Conversation: No problem as usual.  I like him because he’s funny.

Bonding Moment: His attempt at kissing me

Kisser: Horrible.  I had no idea what he was trying to do.  During his attempts, I thought, “well maybe if I turn my head this way.”  No.  “How about if I,” –Nope.  “What about…” –No.  At one point he put his entire mouth around mine, slobbered and sucked in.  WTF?  By the end, my chin was a slobbery mess.

His Not-So-Shining Moment: For whatever reason, he thought rubbing his nose all over my face was romantic?  Attractive?  A turn on?  Why the hell would I want your nose in my eye or in my ear?

My Shining Moment: Not laughing. –Well, not out loud.

Contact After: None.  Made plans during the date to see him the following week.  This was prior to the kissing fiasco.

Status: Seeing him again, but only if he calls and to give him the “kiss-off.”

Wednesday Night

Guy: Thumber

Date: Dinner at a lounge I chose.

Conversation: Eh, okay.  Nothing to write home about

Bonding Moment: Shared the same liking for the birth order theory

His Not-So-Shining-Moment: Pulled out his cell phone and showed me how his app for karma sutra.  Claims it is better than the i-phone version because they only have stick figures demonstrating the poses and his has more realistic drawings.

His Other-Not-So-Shining Moment: Talked about ex, came across as not being over the relationship.  Although, he said that during the relationship he knew she wasn’t the one but stayed with her for SEVEN years!

My Shining Moments: Not slapping him for the karma sutra app demo and not walking out after he talked about his ex. –Hey, food wasn’t bad.  Wanted to make sure I got my doggie bag out of the crap hand I was dealt for the evening.

Hugger: Two-pat-on-the-back

Contact After: None –No chance of a second date for this guy.

Status: Disappointed.  Email banter was so good, but the hype didn’t live up to it in person.



  1. Caleb Said:

    Three dudes at once? I like it. I also like the upgrade plan- keep rotating in fresh ones.

    Are you sure this Dr. D isn’t a dude? She and I are seeing eye to eye on this so far. Other than the no-sex rule. I don’t like hard and fast rules like that, so I like to wait until I’m half naked and liquored up before I make any momentous decisions.

    It’s just being prudent.

    Sounds like some good dates. I dated a crap-kisser once too, but you can always train them out of that.

    How “cowboy” are we talking here? Boots, spurs, buckle, and hat? Or just folks with tight jeans?

    • ziazitella Said:

      He got the “cowboy” name because he was wearing one in his profile pic & we emailed back and forth for a while without him telling me his name so that’s how I referred to him.

  2. Katarina Said:

    You’ll have to keep us updated in the interim – any more word from Cowboy? This is getting interesting. What if you end up liking 2 or even all 3 guys? What is Dr. D’s solution for that situation?

    • ziazitella Said:

      Liking 2 or 3…hmm…let’s just cross that bridge if I ever come to it.

  3. Man-shopper Said:

    D’oh! I was rooting for Thumber. Now I’m reluctant to root for Cowboy. But I do love cowboys…

  4. Franzen Said:

    Retweet in comment form: Are you sure this Dr. D isn’t a dude? She and I are seeing eye to eye on this so far. Other than the no-sex rule. I don’t like hard and fast rules like that, so I like to wait until I’m half naked and liquored up before I make any momentous decisions.

    • Caleb Said:

      Thanks Franzen!

      Zia, I entered an essay contest via my blog. You should check it out and then get defensive about something while claiming to not get defensive about things.


  5. Selmslescak Said:

    This topic is amazing are you a pro writer ? Maybe i can hire you to compose for my blog?

  6. […] to be a kiss on the cheek but was more of my jaw bone.  I’m not complaining.  After Bombay Joe, any aim would be better than […]

  7. Jennifer Said:

    Mangoes and teenage boy – that made me laugh out loud. Loving the recap on the dates especially with so much going on at once. Good luck and remember some guys are nervous, so the first kiss isn’t ever the best kiss.

    • ziazitella Said:

      First was soooo bad, I wasn’t willing to try it a second time. maybe the next guy will earn a shot at seconds.

  8. M Said:

    I started reading this while eating a salad with lettuce on which I could choke.

    That was a mistake. 🙂

{ RSS feed for comments on this post} · { TrackBack URI }

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: