What a Snore

            What’s in a name?  Well for those guys out there who fit into the cluster of common names, you really need to add some pizzazz to make up for your parents’ lack of imagination and creativity in naming you.  How many of you know at least five of each:  Mikes, Matts, Dans, Bobs, Robs, Jasons (or if they go wild – Jay), Johns, and Joes?

            What your parents’ did do is give you a clean slate, a platform in which to jump from.  I mean, imagine the pressure of being named Jasmine and you are more of a weed, or Moses and find you can only fall into puddles and not part them?  Man, what a let down you are.  But no, common namers have nowhere to go but up.  So why would you choose to be the boring guy?

            My date on Sunday with Bill 2 was just that – boring.  By the time I had gotten home later that night I had completely forgotten I had had a date that afternoon until a friend asked me how it was.  He was that dull.

            He mentioned something about working in health insurance – snooze.  Spoke in a monotone, inflectionless voice – snooze.  Asked generic “getting to know you” questions as if they were written down for him – snooze.  And of course, when all else fails, please, let’s talk about the weather – double snooze.

            The most exciting thing on the date was my Wild Cherry Pepsi which he thought sounded great.  So he ordered a water – snooze.

            After my little phone fiasco prior to the date, I quickly pulled out my phone once I got in my car and edited his contact information.  He is no longer “Bill – OC.”  Should he decide to text me again I want to be well prepared for. . . Snoozefest.



  1. Anita Kloo Said:

    Maybe he was a rebel with the water. You never know what the water quality may be. He could be risking his own testosterone by drinking tap water that’s not properly filtered and allowing birth control hormones in. Living on the edge by decreasing his own sperm count. Then there’s always the brain burrowing amoebas, giardia, and that nasty municipal water flavor, but still fighting cavities at the same time.

  2. im feeling it

  3. […] Lately, I have been meeting the most boring of men. Sadly, since my post about Snoozefest last month, things haven’t gotten much better.  When I met the most recent guy a couple […]

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