Really, That’s the Impression You Want to Make?

          For anyone who has ever tried to contact someone via internet dating, standing out from the pack is crucial.  However, some of you should recheck your filter…

          One of my favorite subject lines I received was, “Quesadillas are good.”  – Hey, it did get my attention.  Granted, that was the only thing to get my attention.  Apparently he knew the merchandise he was trying to push.

          Another tasteful attention getter was, “On harnesses.”  Wonder how many he wins over with that one?

          Some of the subject lines are just average, normal, non-shockers.  For those, it’s the content of the email that gets you.

          Once had a guy email something about taking a chance on him or something along those lines.  I clicked over and read his profile.  Nothing of interest so I deleted the email.  I then got an email in ALL CAPS telling me I must not be as nice as I came across in my profile and shouldn’t judge people so quickly.  I was feeling generous that day, so I emailed back some advice:

“I actually did click on your profile.  You mentioned not judging ‘a book by its cover’ in the last line of your bio.  And screaming at me in ALL CAPS is not exactly making you look like any less of an ass.”

          Amazing how quickly I got an apology email. 

          I always enjoy the first email that asks you on a date.  But I got the smoothest one last night.  After giving me all the details to the event, which sounded very generic, like he’d been copying and pasting the same message until he found a taker, I scrolled down to see the picture he sent with the message.  It was him hugging another woman who was definitely not his sister.  Oh, and did I mention, he’s already contacted me before?  Buddy, pretty sure third time won’t be the charm either.

          Another great way to turn a woman off is to put this in the email, “You seem like you know what you want and you’re not the one to be playing games.  Hope to hear from you soon. Oh ya, if you pass me up you’d regret it and miss out on an awesome guy.”  

          Hmm…didn’t you just say I seem to know what I want?  Well, if I know what I want and I pass you up, then I’m pretty sure I know I don’t want you and therefore am not missing much.  Nothing screams desperation and idiot like telling a woman she’s stupid for looking you over.  Don’t worry cupcake, I still sleep at night.

          Now, my new favorite came in the other day.  It’s so horrible that I wouldn’t do it justice to only explain it.  I present to you, spelling and punctuation mistakes and all, direct quote:

Subject: Funny Stuff

“so theres this drunk right? now hes wasted by noon and decides hes gotta pee so he whips it out and starts going in the middle of the street now this lady walking by stops stares and starts yelling “what an animal what a beast what a monster” the drunk says “easy lady easy I got a good hold on him” hope that got you to laugh and hope youll give me the chance to laugh alongside you soon”

          Oh, I’m laughing, but probably not for the reasons you would like.

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3 Comments »

  1. Jimmy Said:

    Another really great post. I’m sittting here cringing…I think you should reply to him explaining why his joke/message was so bad…would love to hear his response to that – not sure he has much self awareness.

  2. Erica Said:

    I’m to nice, if I’m not interested I at least send them a message saying that. I hate hate hate how on plentyoffish you can see who’s read and deleted the message and it kinda bugs me when they just sit there read or read deleted.


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