More Bug Wine, Please

     Even though the date with Private Dick didn’t go swimmingly, I still had two others to tackle last week.  Now, neither of my two remaining dates possessed immediate jump-my-bones quality, they are both in their late thirties, laid back, and seemed genuine.  Probably two of the most normal guys I’ve met in a while, which made the code naming rather challenging, but I finally got it. 

     On Wednesday, I met up for drinks with Bombay Joe.  He is tall, thin, and originally from India but moved here via San Francisco.  Had a bit of an Indian/British twang when he spoke, which made most of the conversation amusing, on my part anyway.

     What I found slightly odd about him is that he barely made eye contact with me, so I wasn’t too sure if he was interested.  But then I thought that might be a cultural thing.  When I got up to go to the bathroom I returned to find him on his phone.  I sat down, heard that it was work stuff and waited for him to hang up.  And waited.  And waited.  I began to smirk thinking, “this couldn’t possibly be happening to me two dates in a row.”  At least he told the guy he had to go and didn’t give a 5-minute date ending warning like Private Dick.  Maybe his is interested?

     At the end of the date he walked me towards my car and we had this little conversation:

Zia: So, what’s your native language?

Bombay Joe: Hindi.

Zia: And you also speak Urdu?

Bombay Joe: Yes, how do you know Urdu?

     Ah, ha.  Charmed him with my worldliness.  I’m so getting a second date.

     The next day I was all prepared to send my “thank you” text, and when I pulled out my phone I saw that he beat me to it.  Wow, knowing there’s a language called Urdu is more powerful than I thought.  We’re going out again tomorrow night.

     On Sunday I met Mr. Indecisive.  Indecision is a trait of the Grass is Greener deadly dating pattern, which is one of the more challenging ones to deal with according to Dr. D and should probably be avoided.  However, I don’t think this man thinks there is anything better on the other side, I think he is actually afraid of looking on the other side.  May find a boogeyman.

     We were sitting and chatting about all kinds of stuff, but I think he was impressed with my random baseball knowledge.  And more impressed when I told him I was the one who taught my brother how to throw a football.  But I think what he found the most impressive was my next move.  This is bound to get me another date.

     While we were chatting, I looked at my wine glass and saw something small floating in it.  I picked up the glass and saw that it was a tiny bug.

Me: There’s a bug in my wine.  Hmph.  (I then picked up my fork.)

Mr. Indecisive: We do inhale about 10-15 bugs when we sleep.  (Lovely factoid.  I have now turned my fork upside down.)

Me: Yeah.  (I swoop in and pick up the bug with the back of my fork.  And wiped it on my napkin.)  Well, the alcohol killed off any germs anyway.  It’s fine.

Indecisive: Yeah.

Me: (Gulp)

Mr. Indecisive:   In Love 

     BAM!  My lack of class outdoorsiness is so getting me another date! 

     What do you think guys, am I in?



  1. Caleb Said:

    Oh, you’re definitely in for second dates. But… why? Did I miss a post somewhere about ‘dating losers to build character’ or something? You already know that one is a cellphone-talker-during-a-date guy (automatic disqualification) and that the other is an indecisive wimp. Unless they’re really hot (always a good excuse) I say hold out for a manly man.

    Unless you’re tallying up free drinks and meals. That’s okay. If I was a girl I’d never pay for another meal in my life!

    And I’m calling you Goldilocks today: throwing the wine out? Too prissy. Actually eating the bug off the fork? Too brutish. What you did? Juuust right.

    • ziazitella Said:

      Without jumping ahead to future posts, cellphone-talker & wimp make it because I’m supposed to be dating against type & going on second dates to give them a chance to relax and be more themselves.
      Side Bug Juice flies with you? (pun intended)

  2. Katarina Said:

    I’m looking forward to hearing about the second dates and if these guys really were nervous or just had some awkward moments. Keep us posted on when you hear back from them!

  3. B. Said:

    I think these guys both sound great, especially the one who liked baseball and girls who eat bugs. I think the big question is not just will they call but do you want them to? Were you genuinely into either of them?

    • ziazitella Said:

      They were both nice. And, according to Dr. D, I should go on a second date with the nice ones to give them more of a chance to open up before really making up my mind. So, yeah, I do want them to call.

  4. Caleb Said:

    It’s too bad that these guys don’t know that they’re getting automatic seconds… wouldn’t that be fun? You could show up on your date and just be an ASS! Here’s how our first date would go:

    1. I would talk about, and only about, me. Any comments you make about yourself I would just get irritated at, ignore, and go back to talking about me.

    2. Totally eat with my mouth open, chomp loudly, burp, and be rude the waitress and other patrons.

    3. Stare at your cleavage. A lot! Then, drop things on purpose and suggest that you “bend down and pick that up for me, sweets.” Then ogle you when you do.

    4. Stick the tab with you- or, just walk out.

    5. Tell amazingly sordid and detailed accounts of past lovers whom I exploited. Then, admit to being a spouse-abuser and drug-user. And not a recovering one of either, either.

    6. Wear dirty, cutoff sweatpants and a mesh half-shirt. Don’t comb my hair, brush my teeth, or shave for weeks.

    Then, I would completely reform for my second date and play the part of a really charming and cute guy.

    Ha! How does this 2-date thing work? Do you average the two or take the high score? Knowing that would determine how charming I would have to be to get laid apres date #2.

    You need to spread this two-date gospel; for some reason I don’t always get my calls answered after a first date.


    • ziazitella Said:

      Oh, they don’t get automatic seconds. I do keep veto power of that – Private Dick, for example.
      And nevermind how our first date would go, I’d like to know how you think you’d get me to go on one?
      As for women not calling you back after first dates, that is weird. Baffling…I’m stumped.

  5. Caleb Said:

    Hmm. I would probably wait until I knew you had a blind date coming up, then shoot that guy with a tranquilizer gun and take over. That, or just ask. 🙂

    Someone once told me that my rigid adherence to going to McDonalds on first dates is the problem. I say “F*ck it! I want a Dub!” if she has a problem with double cheeseburgers then it was never meant to be anyway, right?

  6. […] Peeled the cough drop best he could and then ate it with a good bit of paper on it.  It’s no bug wine, but […]

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