The Big Question

     After my cooking confession, where my last post left off, he started quizzing me on what I could cook.  He ran through a laundry list of things, most of which were no-brainers for me.  Then I saw a lightbulb go off in his head.
Gameless Joe Jackson: Can you make apple pie?
Zia’s Thoughts: Christ. When I said I could cook, I meant I could cook – whatever.
Zia: Yes, I can make apple pie.
Gameless Joe Jackson: (flat and serious) Will you marry me?

Zia: So you’ve heard enough?
Gameless Joe Jackson: Yeah, I’ve heard enough.  I know all I need to know.
Zia: Is your family aware that you’re gonna sell yourself out for the promise of apple pie?
I don’t really recall his response to that since I was trying to hold back laughter as to how serious he was about the marriage proposal over my word that I can cook.
We carried on.  Of course the medical marijuana topic made an appearance.  I found out he “medicates” because he’s bipolar.  Apparently it runs in the family…as he called it, “bad breeding stock.”  He also told me that I could relax and be myself.  Um…I just told you I wouldn’t cook for you because you’d fall in love with me.  Does that sound like a woman who is holding back?  I just told him I was being myself.  Guess he thought I’d cuss like a sailor or something.  I did take that opportunity to ask him if I made him nervous.  Bipolar hyper manic phase aside, I could tell he was a bit jittery.  He confirmed, “Yes, very.”
He asked if I wanted to walk to another bar down the road a bit.  He said he likes to bar hop, but I noticed that he just can’t sit still.  Every date we relocate.  I said okay, and he said he would have to “medicate” before we go.  I noticed on the other dates, and their length, that he never smoked while with me.  He said he knew I didn’t like it, so he held off.  After blurting out “bipolar,” all his hyperness from previous dates made sense, and he really does need to chill and take care of business.  I ran to the bathroom while he did his thing, and when I returned he was already done and waiting.  He had his sunglasses up to point out that not all potheads have bloodshot eyes.  He is very self-conscious about many things, I’ve noticed.
Like a mom, I asked if he needed to go to the bathroom.  He had had a few and we were going walk about a mile to the next bar.  He said no that he was fine.  Mid walk I notice him slowly picking up pace.
Zia: You have to go the bathroom, don’t you?
Gameless Joe Jackson: Yes. Yes, I do.
Zia: (little chuckle) Mm-hmm…
Gameless Joe Jackson: If we can just keep this pace…
Thoroughly entertained by this, but not teasing him too much, we kept talking to distract him from his abundant bladder activity.
He brought up food again, and again started asking about things I could make.
Gameless Joe Jackson: Can you make cheesecake?
Zia: Yes. I made one once with a coworker and we sliced apples and soaked them in dark rum. It was great.
And without skipping a beat he said, “Soooo, we haven’t set a date yet.”
Took me a minute to register what he was talking about, and then it dawned on me.  Had we walked by a courthouse, I’m sure he would have dragged me in and married me on the spot.

 

 

To read the next post from The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly series, click here.

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2 Comments »

  1. The T Said:

    Effing scary….honestly…how does one find people like this? Didn’t you screen these dates a bit better before actually meeting them in person?

    Argh… I feel for you girls…then again… wait…i’m certain that there have been a few bipolar girls that i’ve needed to run away from too…hmm…

    T.

    • ziazitella Said:

      Of course I screen, but you just never know what’ll pop up. Just when I think I’ve dated them all, something new comes along.


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