Cherry Popper

     I started out with such hope for the New Year and my dating life.  Only great dates I promised myself.  And although my date Friday night wasn’t horrible, it didn’t have any earth shattering moments either.  But it did have a couple “firsts.”

     I arrived in heels and on a good hair day. We ran into each other outside. Did our introduction and then entered, and due to lack of tables, sat at the bar. I noticed he took his cell phone out of his pocket and put it face down on the bar. Little annoying.  I always put my cell phone on silent and leave it out of sight. I very rarely take it out and when I do I use it as an “I’m ready to leave” signal.

     We chatted about a few random things and then he started talking about dating.  In the midst of our conversation, his voice dropped off completely and I had no idea what he said.  I asked “what?” and he repeated in vaguely mumble words.  I tried to piece together what I did hear and finally let out one more, “huh?”  He repeated himself in a loud whisper and then it clicked.  He was referring to online dating.  I realized then that it was his first go around in the meet-a-stranger-from-the-internet charade.  Cripes.  If you can’t even say the words “online” in reference to dating in public then guess what?  You’re not ready.  He was like a teeny-bopper going in for his first kiss and not knowing where to put his nose.  First online-date: cherry popped.

     A little while after that awkward moment, his cell phone rang.  Irksome.  Apparently it was work.  Continued chatting and then the phone rang again.  This time when he looked at the ID he said, “It’s my mom.”  And not in a “this is an emergency” tone, more of a “this happens a lot and I was expecting it” tone.  He then proceeded to tell me how his mom always calls him when he’s out.  She checks in, wants to know who he’s with, what he’s doing, if he’s drinking he shouldn’t be driving – cause he’s thirty and needs checking on.  Then told me if he doesn’t answer, she keeps calling.  Oh, Jeez.  Please don’t answer the phone and talk to your mother.  Fortunately he didn’t.

     Night goes on.  He realizes he needs to run and put money in the parking meter.  Phone in hand, leaves.  Returns, makes some comment about his mother.  Christ.  Either he called her or she called again and he answered.  Date with a Mama’s boy whose Mama actually called during date: cherry popped.



  1. Man-shopper Said:

    Yikes. Mama sounds like a real treat. You devirginized a thirty-year-old boy!

  2. Erica Said:

    ewww momma’s boy.
    ps. I tagged you. >>

  3. Simmarah Said:

    LOL oh boy. Red flags!!!! Mama’s boy full fledged!

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