Santa Baby

Dear Santa,

I have been a very good girl this year.  Unfortunately.  And it has not gotten me anywhere.  My search for Mr. Pizzazz has been long and tiring, as I’m sure the elves have updated you.  Last Sunday I had dates with two different men.  And as my esthetician predicted, I preferred Date #1 and Date #2 preferred me.  I have not heard from Date #1 since my afternoon of bum-gazing.  Date #2 and I have spoken again, only once, and briefly.  He has potential for next week, but he too may flake-out.  Ho…ho…hum…

I know you are very busy this time of year, so to give the elves the task of creating Mr. Pizzazz in time for Christmas would be a very tall order.  I know I must continue looking on my own.  Mr. Perfect-for-Me is out there somewhere.  Maybe he’s just lost in a blizzard.  Could you possibly give him directions for Christmas?  I’m sure he’s been a good boy too and probably deserves them.

Since bringing Mr. Pizzazz to me might take some time, I’d be happy with a few of these other gifts this Christmas.



And to make sure I can continue to rock this get-up, I may be in need of a gym membership.

Santa, if you are having trouble deciding which of these I should get as my “good girl” reward this year; then surprise me with a donation instead. 

Please make some donations

That way, in case I eat too many holiday cookies, I can order the next size up on the newest addition to my wardrobe.  (You know how that goes, right?)

Well, Santa, I won’t take up anymore of your time.  Have yourself a merry little Christmas and I’ll try to do the same.

All the best,




  1. Jay Said:

    You are hilarious… The outfit would get my attention for sure!!!! Want directions back east?

  2. Man-shopper Said:

    I expect that Santa will agree to bring you that new date outfit on the condition that you give him a little something-something in return… There was always something a little pervy about Santa and his obsession with lap-sitting.

    • ziazitella Said:

      I’m all about fair trade. If he gives directions to the unknown Mr. Pizzazz, then I gladly give him a little “somethin’-somethin” lap-sitting.

  3. Simmarah Said:

    LOL LOVE your list!!!
    Funny how that works – you prefer date #1, but date #2 prefers you… I always say, timing is everything so be hopeful and get your outfit just in case 😉

    • ziazitella Said:

      I fear I may be a fat blob before I actually have anyone to wear that outfit for. But my master plan for 2011 is keeping me hopeful.

  4. Ken Said:

    Okay, I figured it out. All I want for Christmas is you.

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