Searching for Pizzazz

     Looking for a date and finding one isn’t an issue.  Going on dates and getting asked out for a second isn’t an issue.  Getting asked out to go on second dates that I actually want to go on – BIG ISSUE!

     Lately, I have been meeting the most boring of men. Sadly, since my post about Snoozefest last month, things haven’t gotten much better.  When I met the most recent guy a couple of weeks ago, I was thrilled when the conversation wasn’t completely dull.  He wasn’t really much to go ga-ga over but he was the best I had seen in a while.  So when he asked me out to dinner, I accepted.

     The dinner had its few laughs here and there, and he was a nice guy.  On paper, he sounded fine.  He’s intelligent, friendly, employed, but that’s it really.  Overall the night was hackneyed, insipid, ordinary, …uninspiring.  And it’s not just him, all have been just lacking and ho-hum.  I’m looking for pizzazz.  Is that too much to ask?  I don’t need the guy to be a one-man-show but something about you has to hold my attention.  I feel the performers rule: “Keep the audience wanting more,” most definitely applies to dating as well.  Am I right?

     I feel myself being dragged down by all this humdrum that it is exhausting me.  I want to dive back into my hermit-ness  Behavior which will never get me to my New Year’s date goal.  I’m not just looking for some shmuck to kiss when the ball drops.  Kissing shmucks is easy, I’ve been doing it for years.  I’m looking for someone of substance. I’m using New Year’s for all that is symbolizes – change, new beginnings in directions unknown but desired.  And in all of that, I don’t want it to be with someone blah, mundane, and unimaginative.  Would you?  Pizzazz, I need pizzazz. and throw in the dating towel for a while.

     For those of you asking what pizzazz is – you can’t be serious.  It’s that spark, for some it could be chemistry.  It’s the thing that makes you want to see the person again and again.  It’s the quality in them that holds your interest.  It’s nothing you can put into exact words because it will vary from person to person, but if I had to try I’d say: Pizzazz is another person’s uniqueness that jives with your own unparalleled qualities. 

     I know I will never see this guy again, so he doesn’t even warrant a name.  However, my search continues Winkuntil I find some man worthy of earning the coveted name, Mr. Pizzazz.  



  1. Erica Said:

    I don’t know how you do it. I despise dating and since I became single in August I’ve been totally ignoring guys at all cost. lol

    • ziazitella Said:

      I don’t know how I do it either. I really am getting exhausted and am afraid my sleepy aura is only going to attract more dreariness.
      And for some reason, in my case, when I ignore guys, I get just as much attention but not from the best sources. I think that’s why I like the hermit approach. 😉

  2. Mama J. Said:

    I think you should give it time – give it to the 3rd or 4th date. First impressions aren’t always the best to judge a person on. I agree that the first date should be an indicator to draw you in with a spark or something, but maybe these guys are in the same boat as you. They may have been on a few (or too many) dates and have lost their spark. Or maybe they don’t know how to give a good first impression without acting like an idiot or a dork. Maybe they play it reserved until you get to know them. What is the pizzazz you want? What are some examples?

    • ziazitella Said:

      Mama J, I love how you’re rooting for these guys and believe me I’m trying. The guy I just mentioned had about 2-3 phone calls and 2 dates, I think that was more than enough to show a little pizzazz. His biggest fault was his indirect stating of his laziness. He lived & worked w/in the same 7 miles and didn’t travel much. You really want me dating someone like that b/c that would mean down the line I would visit you less? Hmm… 😉
      Like I said, the pizzazz would be different for everyone. Some magnetic pull would be nice though.

  3. Jodeezy Said:

    Ok, I have decided it is time for me to step in and give you some of the older sister advice that used to transpire between us when we lived much closer to each other and actually got to see each other. I think the problem lies in the questions. If you want pizzazz answers you have to have pizzazz questions. For instance, instead of asking the same old questions that everyone asks maybe you need to come up with a questionaire for them to fill out on the date, while taking into consideration some of the issues you have had in the past and making them questions. For example, Question one: Would you ever start a first date with really stupid jokes that nobody finds funny but you? If no, what do you constitute as a good joke, please give at least one example. And give an example of a joke you feel is terrible.
    Don’t ask do you like animals? Ask Question 2. When it comes to pets, on a scale of 1-10 how do you feel about yours? (1 being what pet?, and 10 being ohhhh I love my mr. pepper especially how he spoons me through the night.)
    … I am sure if you need some help with these questions you could get it…

    • ziazitella Said:

      I am so glad you’ve finally chimed in. You have given very sound advice and I think you’re on to something. I’m not usually the one asking the boring questions. I am the one creating pizzazzy answers though. And they are all pizzazzy enough during the email stage, it’s once the relationship leaves the internet realm that they lose it. But a questionaire…that’s good. I could go in armed with a rebuttal. Do you think I could pull off taking a clip board to a first date?

      • Jay Said:

        I don’t think you could pull off the clipboard part… but it would be an interesting way to start a relationship…

      • ziazitella Said:

        Even if I give my cutest smile, I couldn’t pull off a clipboard?

      • Jay Said:

        It would have to be one helluva smile… like bigger than this one :)…

      • ziazitella Said:

        I haven’t heard otherwise, so I’m going with the hunch that I’m freakin’ adorable and could pull it off. 😉

      • Jay Said:

        you come to boston… I will bring you the clipboard…

      • ziazitella Said:

        Oh don’t you worry sweetheart, I’ve got my own.

  4. Zia,

    I saw this article today and thought of you. Its about what your Litmus Test is for dates/relationships. It made me think of you and I wanted to see what your Litmus Test was.

    Mine was always if they drank too much- they needed to be tanked to enjoy being around me. Unwilling to look into my eyes- too busy scanning the room, or wanting to jump into a releationship too early- Holding my hand before the food has arrived on date one…or even date two…not so much.
    So lets hear the Zia list!

    • ziazitella Said:

      My Litmus Test…hmm…showing up in gym clothes for a first date, needing to be drunk to have any sort of good time, and accusing people of being uptight and having no sense of humor because they didn’t laugh at your joke. -Dude, you’re just not funny.

      • Jay Said:

        I got a good one for this from the male perspective… don’t ask me how my last gf handled me… it obviously didn’t work which is why I am out with you…

  5. This post got me thinking:
    Where would Mr. Pizazz hang out? I mean, granted-we all have our own version him, and I have to admit, I’m not sure where the hell mine would be. I do think though that he’d be up for anything. Ever try spontaneously mixing the date up mid-sentence?
    I’ve done that move before. Especially when things start to get pretty boring, just try saying:
    “hey, wanna go find an adventure? Right now?”
    Either Mr. Wrong will stare at you like you’ve lost your mind (which, given the way the conversation was going at this point-you might have),
    You end up on a midnight ghost-walking tour you happened to read on a flyer on your way to said boring date.
    I mean, hopefully it doesn’t end in ghost-nonsense, but could definitely end in laughter.
    And as we all know-laughter = best date stories, even when they’re so bad all you can do is crack up.

    • ziazitella Said:

      Wanna go for an adventure – That’s a great idea. Never thought of that, but that’s probably because I’m half comatosed mid-date and don’t have the brain power to come up with such crafty ideas. Next Sir-Snores-A-Lot date I’ll give this a try and let you know how it goes.

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