Match Me

     I have gone from dating three to zilch.  Had a date on Sunday, but he’s not making it to a second, night out with my wingwoman was too hot to focus, and my online “reserves tank” is empty and not much new is coming in.  Dr. D says to put the word out to friends and family so that they can help introduce you to new guys.  Since most of my friends and all of my family live in different time zones, that would be one costly and time-consuming meet’n’greet.  As a result, I’ve had to do some thinking outside the box.

     Last week, when I was shopping around on Craigslist for jobs, I stumbled upon an ad.  Figured it was a long-shot but threw caution to the wind and submitted myself.  To my surprise, I got an email back within a few hours asking for some addition information.   One afternoon I filled out the four page attachment they gave me and sent everything back that they asked for.  That same evening I got an email telling me “congratulations” and that my next step was to stop by the office so they could verify my pictures.  Yup, verify that I look like my pictures.  Come on, this is LA; you can’t get a janitorial position without a headshot.  In their defense, the spot I was shooting for. . . well, it made sense to have pictures.

     On Saturday I swung by the office and figured I’d see a long line or waiting room full of other women doing the same.  And I expected these women to be of supermodel stature who, would in turn, look at me as if I was lost.  I checked my lip gloss, tossed my hair, and made my way down the long eerily silent hallway.  I turned the corner into the office and – nothing.  No one was there but the man behind the desk.  He asked my name, looked me up and down, and said I was good; my pictures looked like me.  He then asked me to sit and he ran down the basics that I needed to know.

     As I walked back to my car, I was still puzzled by the lack of other women that were there.  I mean, how many did they turn away to pick me of all people?  I feel more plain Jane than Barbie, so I just figured I would get looked over.  But I didn’t.  I have succeeded in getting more people to join Team Zia and assist me in finding a date for New Year’s Eve.

     Gone too far?  You tell me.  I am now the newest addition to the Millionaire Matchmaker’s data base.  You know, on the show after they have a casting call and no “good” ladies show up and Patti Stanger says, “let me pull some girls from my data base?”  Well, I’m in that data base.

Advertisements

12 Comments »

  1. Caleb Said:

    I’m confused. So you’re going porn? Is that part of Dr. D’s advice?

    I’m liking her more and more.

    For some reason I picture you as a shorter, bustier, and hispanic Julia Roberts.

    Why, I don’t know.

    • ziazitella Said:

      Dr. D will most likely frown at this action. She’s okay w/ enlisting non-paid matchmakers (people who just do it for fun), but the paid one’s are a bit of a no-no. I was never really good at following all the rules. I prefer to pick the ones I like & go with those.
      Younger hispanic Julia Roberts? Never got that before.

    • Katarina Said:

      Caleb – I’m curious – where in the world did you get the porn aspect? Have you seen the show? The matchmaker, Patty, actually discourages promiscuous behavior as I’m sure Dr. D does.

    • Caleb Said:

      So… the show matches millionaires? Do I need to come woo you on the west coast?

      I’ve always wanted a sugar momma…

      Promiscuous behavior would be sleeping around with multiple partners in short-lived relationships. Pornography would be a business-related matter where you are a paid entertainer who happens to entertain by getting tag-teamed by a pair of old guys.

      One sucks more, sure, but at least you get a check.

      Caleb

      • Katarina Said:

        I see – so your confusion was on whether this millionaire matchmaking business was going to pay Zia for her services. Nope – not an escort service – you should try watching cable instead of payperview. 🙂

        As for the sugar momma business – I think Zia already covered that ground in a previous post. 😉

      • ziazitella Said:

        Sure did cover that sugar business – Check it out

        And Caleb, hon, you’d have to do A LOT of wooing 😀

    • Caleb Said:

      Who needs payperview when you have the internet?

      Zia, were I to turn the full force of my charm on you it would be like a hurricane-force wind blowing a leaf. Totally helpless.

      Lucky for you I’m merciful and wouldn’t do such a thing without good reason.

      Ah, it’s tough being so benevolent.

      Caleb

  2. Katarina Said:

    This is GREAT!!! I hope you get called! What a blog that will make! Congratulations on expanding your horizons even further! Only 5 months until New Year’s Eve!

  3. DatingSurvior Said:

    What an adventure this will be for you – how exciting! But WOW you’re very brave – I’d be scared because Patty can be so brutal with those women if she doesn’t like exactly how they look!!

    • ziazitella Said:

      Hence the reason I was shocked they took me. But I’m in the data base for all the millionaires, chances of me getting a call for the show are slim to none. Now that I’ve said that, watch me eat my words.

      • Katarina Said:

        LOL – I hope you get to eat your words!! I’ll bring a spoon and help you!

  4. mode20100 Said:

    A+ would read again


{ RSS feed for comments on this post} · { TrackBack URI }

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: