Get Your Flirt On (Part 2)

     My previous post left off with me sending smoke signals via flirt moves to a guy in a bar I was hoping would rescue me from Drunkass’ slobber.  Here’s how the night turned out:

     During one of my look up, look away moves, I turn to Shortstack to say something and then suddenly the lone trio member is standing in front of our booth.  Victory!  He’s standing there with a smile and making eye contact.  (Ooh, I’m on the receiving end of Move #1.)  He introduces himself and then all of the sudden, like vultures, the entire trio is at our table and Drunkass is out numbered.

     There is some awkward shouting from across the booth conversation because I still have Drunkass sitting to my right.  Nothing a quick trip to the bathroom can’t fix.  I tap Drunkass’s shoulder (Damn it! – Move #5) and excuse myself.  When I return to the booth there had been some seat shuffling and Drunkass was gone…for now.

     I plop myself down and next thing I know I am sitting between my Rescue Ranger and his buddy, Mr, High-5.  (The dude was all about some high-5 action.)  Not a bad turn of events.  And since the flirt machine was already turned on, what makes you think it would suddenly turn off?  Flirtalicious was still on the loose and seemed to be contagious.  My girls and the trio were all over open-ended questions (Move #13), laughing at jokes (Move #10), and lots of smiling, eye contact, looking away and then back again (Move #1 and #3.)  Really, this just sounds like people with drinks in them having a good time.  But hey, who am I to second guess the Doc?  Drink on Flirt on my friends, flirt on.

     At one point I heard my last name being said across the booth.  Since Half-pint and I have the same first name, she was distinguishing us by our last names to Dimples (the third member of the trio.)  Rescue Ranger overheard my last name and this led to our big moment…

Rescue Ranger:  Italian?

Zia:  Yes.

He puts his fingers on my wrist (received Move #5) and then slides my hoodie up my arm a bit.

Rescue Ranger:  But you’re not hairy.

(Eeerr…received Move #11 – Compliment?)

Zia:  No.  No, I’m not.

     With moves like that, I am sure this guy gets his pick of the litter when he heads out.

     The night rolls on.  Drunkass makes a return and falls asleep in the booth.  Rescue Ranger hits the pool table, Mr. High-5 chats up a storm, and Dimples maybe said seven sentences all night.  But who really cares?  He had dimples.  Duh.

     Closing time and my clan and I start heading out.  We say our good-byes and this is where reading these sixteen moves would have been beneficial.

“Move #16 – When leaving, say you’d like to see him again.”

     I have to walk by the pool table, where Rescue Ranger is, to exit.  He interrupts his game for a minute and stops me to give me a hug good-bye.  We make some comments about the game and then I walk off.  Huh?  Oh yeah, I – walk – off.  “Hey, let’s hang out again sometime” never made it into my brain.

     We get outside and Shortstack gets into Miss Fererra’s car and they drive off.  I hop into Half-pint’s, we sit there for a sec, and then she says how she had such a great time and wishes we could do it again. 

Okay, let’s recap:  Three of them, four of us, and no one thought of doing a number exchange!? – Idiots, the lot of us. 

     Did we screw up?  Well, that can easily be answered.  As Half-pint backed out and started pulling away, I spotted Mr. High-5 rushing out the door.  But it was too late, we were on the road.  I made brief eye contact with him but all he got out was one final wave.  Flirtalicious, sure.  Smooth Operator, hell no.

     Let’s hope, armed with these rules, things go a little better as I hit the town with my wingwoman, Miss Independent, tonight.

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9 Comments »

  1. Skye Blue Said:

    This was a great read, but what stuck out for me was…

    “Rescue Ranger: Italian?

    Zia: Yes.

    He puts his fingers on my wrist (received Move #5) and then slides my hoodie up my arm a bit.

    Rescue Ranger: But you’re not hairy.”

    Really? If he really needed to check that out, he could’ve done so later in the evening and kept the hairy comment to himself.

    SMH.

    • ziazitella Said:

      True. True. But apparently that comment was meant for only me, as my girls told me they never heard it. Think he thought it was a bonding moment. Hey, if anything it made him more memorable.

  2. Caleb Said:

    My friend goes up to women with his wiener out, hanging over his wrist, and asks them “Can you read my wristwatch?”

    THAT’S memorable.

    I thought guys were supposed to ask for numbers…are the rules changing?

    PS After you had a successful night of charm and have a girls’ number, then what do you do? Call to go to dinner or movie or something? Give them a text next time you’re out drinking?

    I need help with this part of my game.

  3. Katarina Said:

    Oh dear Caleb,

    I can help you. First, you might want to figure out a different game than your friend. Use him as the example of what not to do. 🙂

    What kind of girl are you looking for? What is your objective? If you’re looking for a one night stand, forget the movie and dinner and just get her drunk and hope for the best.
    If you’re actually in the dating game to find someone special and have a real relationship, yes, call her for dinner, go for coffee or even a walk – I don’t recommend a movie since it’s hard to get to know someone that way, but anything – a walk in the park, a county fair, an art showing, bowling, anything 🙂 – you will be surprised that when you just try, she will be very responsive. 🙂 Good luck!

    • Caleb Said:

      Dear smiley-face using Katarina,

      Good points. You’re spot on about the movie thing.

      What am I looking for? Probably close to the same thing every guy is. We just do it differently- without objective. Let me break it down for you.

      1. We look for a hottie. That could mean many things, but it has to be attractive to us.

      2. Okay, she’s hot. Now what? Rule out idiots, psychos, bitches, tramps, and whores.

      3. Still standing? Okay, does she have a few great qualities? Loves kids? Smart? Educated? Great family?

      4. STILL standing? Wow. Okay then- here’s the final kicker for me. Is she CRAZY about me? AND does she give blowjobs regularly and often?

      So you see, you don’t set out to meet anything in particular; you just run them through filter by filter.

      You’re welcome. Oh, and I’m on a blind date tonight who’s supposedly already past #1. We’ll see.

      Caleb

      • Katarina Said:

        Thanks for the breakdown, Sir Caleb. 🙂 I hope she makes it through step 4! Good luck – keep us posted!

  4. Jazzie30 Said:

    Flirting is fun because it not only fulfills some of your instinctual needs to interact with others, but it also demonstrates to others your degree of interest in them. Likewise, the response to your flirtation indicates the degree of interest in you.

  5. helpful post 😉

  6. va Said:

    Usually I do not post on blogs, but I would like to say that this article really forced me to do so! Thanks, really nice article.


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