The Results

          Did you ever notice how there’s a bit of a New Year’s Eve event checklist?  There is usually the same list of things that happen every year.  However, they don’t always happen the way you plan or expect.

How my day went:

After I returned home from my last-minute errands, I stopped by to check the mail.  In the pool area, there was a 4-year-old boy in some tighty-whities soaking wet looking out at me.  When I got out of my car he was holding on to the bars of the fence, bouncing, smiling and excitedly asked, “Are ya comin’ in?  Are ya comin’ in?”

Advances made towards me: Check. 

As I got ready for my night out, I heard my landlady’s young grandchildren running and playing together.  She took on babysitting duty for the evening.  When it was time for me to head out I said good-bye to all and was inadvertently felt up by a 5-year-old.

Inappropriate fondling: Check.

Waiting for my ride to arrive, there were a lot of phone calls back and forth as to how to find me.  Having trouble with road blocks and me not knowing all of the side street names, there was a lot of, “where are you now?”

Lose people: Check.

When we arrived at the party, the hostess was having a little trouble with the chocolate fondue.  The few of us who had already arrived, pitched in and did some stirring, reheating, some tasting, etc.  Still a little lumpy and not cooking properly, she mentioned having a little Kaluha left over.  “Pour it in,” I said.

Use alcohol to make things better: Check.

 As the night progressed, I found myself sitting in a room full of scientists and their spouses.  Having to carry on conversations with people who have far higher IQs than mine, I feel I held my own.  And if I wasn’t able to, I would casually shove more food in my mouth to avoid over-my-head conversation.

Blend in: Check.

Since the hostess and I were the only two single people there, she informed me how she knows a woman who knows lots of single science guys.  Single + science…shocking.  Anyway,  this woman is a scientist herself and would apparently enjoy scientifically matching me to one of the young gents, depending on how “science-y” I would go.

Semi-humiliating moment: Check.

My subtle friend that brought me along to the party loudly announced my blogging adventure to the room.  Informing everyone that “Mr. Fig Newton” was her favorite post.  This led to many questions, laughter, and a reading request.  I gave a reading and openly answered questions about my bizarre dating life.

Reveal personal information to total strangers: Check.

          Well, it was a busy night but I believed I accomplished everything on the list.  Now the only question is, what do I blog in the New Year? 



  1. Jimmy Said:

    Hey, funny post. It’s been emotional. And I’m loving the screen snow. Looking forward to seeing what 2010 brings for you.

  2. B. Said:

    Oh my god, this is my favorite post. You got that New Year’s Eve formula down to a science!

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