Conversation Stoppers

          Okay people, has no one ever told you that questions are the breath of a conversation?  How do you get to know people?  You ask them something.  Duh.

          The guy I contacted earlier this week had a great bio, and ladies the pic wasn’t bad either – oh man.  I sent him a short email, just complimenting his bio, not really expecting him to reply (he was a little too good looking.)  I was surprised when I got a response and doubly surprised when I read the email.  He actually made comments to things I had written in my bio to show that he had actually read it.  At this point I’m thinking he’s a little too good to be true.  His bio showed that he had a big heart, he responded with flying colors, and he was gorgeous.  If I was writing a cheesy romance novel, his character would make its way in.

          I responded to his email, asking a couple of questions to learn more about him.  He replied, answering my questions.  This happened twice, then I got bored and annoyed.  Here’s why:

Boredom: He would answer my questions and then ask the easy, thoughtless “and you?”  Never coming up with his own questions, leaving me to come up with a new question for the response email.  If one person does all the asking, it’s making them force the conversation.  Relationships can be difficult.  Getting to know people should be easy.

Annoyance:  The only thing he kept emailing was how pretty I was.  “Classic look.”  “Very beautiful.”  “You are stunning.”   
Guys, you may think you’re giving us a compliment but what the hell kind of conversation can spawn from the way I look?  I’m not that shallow and it makes me uncomfortable.  There is more to me than the way I look.  And believe me, I see what I look like when I roll out of bed in the morning and I’m not all that.

          It’s a shame really, he started off so well.  I was once talking to another guy who would text me “Good morning sexy.”  Vomit.  It makes my blood boil, not in a good way, and if I was in front of you, I’d deck ya.  Save the “you look amazing’s” for when she dresses up for a date with you.

          And now, what did we learn today?  Lesson 1: The best way to start a conversation is to pay someone a compliment, but not a shallow superficial one.  Lesson 2:  The best way to keep a conversation going is to ask questions, not continue with compliments on the other’s appearance.



  1. Jimmy Said:

    I’m so with you on the questions – so annoying when you have to do all the asking. Luckily I have an endless supply…..what’s your favourite colour Fruit Pastel? What’s under your bed? What’s the last thing you do at night? What would your specialist subject be on Mastermind? Hmm, I think I’ve just stumbled upon why I never get anywhere…

  2. Ha ha ha. It sounds like we all have pretty much the same damn experience with dating and online dating. Maybe it’s actually something in US that is stopping us from finding a good match or that New Year’s date…
    Or maybe it’s all a mystery.

  3. Erica Said:

    I like the random questions, however I hate when guys jump right into the sex ones its like wtf? why do you need to know that so early.

  4. B. Said:

    I think that guy is, in reality, a spambot with too much free time on his hands. The picture (if he’s muscular or overly built) plus the bio that proves he is literate, pushes him into a realm of incredibility. His roommate is probably a unicorn.

  5. Zoë Blue Said:

    YES! Exactly! You and I are of the same mind, girl. Thank you for this post. 🙂

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