Start the Chat

          Surfing around and see something you like, now you’re ready for your initial contact.  Great.  I open the email to the impressive subject, opening, and closing of… “Hi.”

Come on!  How lame and boring are you?  At that moment you’ve pretty much sealed your fate into nothingness.  I may click on the profile and read the bio but most of the time you make it right to the delete pile.  By just saying “hi” you’re asking me to click on your profile, read your profile, come up with something to say, email you back, and start the conversation.  You’re the one who contacted me – start it yourself.  Show me you read my profile.  Ask me something.  Comment on something.  Don’t make me do all the work.  If I contacted you first I would have shown that I did the leg work and you weren’t just a pretty face.

         This all plays into having something in your bio to comment on.  Interesting photos are good icebreakers.  Put in a witty/sarcastic subject line.  If you’re not much of a wit-master or don’t do sarcasm (well, basically you shouldn’t be contacting me) but in the body of the email ask me something.  Or tell me a little bit about yourself.  Don’t give me a life story, leave me something to ask you about.  And for the love of God don’t say “we have a lot in common” and then not point out what it is.  Leaving me to click on your profile, read the entire thing, only to find out you’re into streaking and Kung-Fu movies and baffled as to what you thought we had in common.  I assure you, naked martial arts is not listed in my interest section.



  1. Jimmy Rice Said:

    My ‘about me’ section on online dating sites reads:

    “Don’t message if you’re not prepared to lie about how we met. You must also be willing to tolerate and even love my depressed and often jealous cat Mildred. You’re probably already convinced, but if not, here’s some other pertinent information: I make a mean lasagne, and my tea is to a professional standard; I don’t have any physical deformities unless you count small nipples; and I am willing to try anything once – except incest and morris dancing.”

    I don’t get many messages.
    Nice blogging by the way.

  2. matt Said:


  3. Ændrew Said:

    I once got a message that was like:

    “Hi, this is smalltalk.”

    How does one engage in conversation using postmodern deconstructed signifiers? I don’t get it.

  4. […] one line emails with their phone numbers in them.  Oh, and of course my favorite, the one word, “Hi” with a smiley face email.  Yeah buddy, there’s a lot of hope for a relationship spawning off […]

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